today is the only day that is real

mostly made this account so i could make sure this post still lived on when i deleted my account!

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

I also think that the strength gap is at least partially manufactured women would in fact be stronger overall if little girls were encouraged to do physically taxing games and activities and eat their fill while they’re growing vs having to constantly diet and be sedentary indoors (or god forbid do intense cardio while under-eating). The amount of adult women honestly afraid to lift weights bc they think they’ll get bulky as though bulking isn’t a full time job that athletes have to spend all their time on and anyone on earth gets shredded from just using their adult muscles for their intended purpose, girl your bone density 🥀

if you say women are intentionally nerfed from birth in 2026 people look at you like you’re insane and start condescendingly telling you about how women are just better at different things (but not during their periods haha) but this was a completely basic feminist talking point I grew up with like “girls can do it too! [shot of little girls climbing and running with boys]” nickelodeon commercial tier base level I hate it how is everyone suddenly dumber than the average 7 year old

"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"

the water in hotel showers will do things to the texture of your hair you didn’t even know were possible

got 30 ish free tangerines and they're not easy peel clementines but my lust for them is undimin is dhed. my hands are covered in juice. as is my phone. and my self. and my table. but such is the price of free tsngerone. i stopped tyoing this posy 4 time to eat anothrt tangerine

quiz: why do lobsters have one claw bigger

They evolved to handle different prey. the larger crusher claw cracks open ahrder prey like a molar tooth, whilst the smaller pincer claw rips apart soft prey similar to an incisor tooth.

theyre lobsided

oh I see! yay!

"i'm soooo glad that this new female character finally proved that you can be feminine and powerful! because media usually doesn’t let strong female characters be feminine!” yeah that is so crazy btw what planet do you live on and how can i get there

"95% of representation of women is about women who conform to norms of femininity?! It was 96% last year!"

saw someone including "Mandate of Heaven" as one of those christian terms tumblr likes to use to sound profound. which i get where you're coming from but t☝️hat one is chinese

wait what did nintendo ds stand for? dick sucking??ewwwww. the dsi? dick suck international??? ewwww

yuo cant say this during plague month

pride month. pharohs curse got me

sometimes i’ll be scrolling on here and almost reblog what a mutual reblogged from me like so true bestie