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let's all shoot our phones and meet each other outside

People who are making posts telling us what is happening over on threads, twitter, and Instagram are like war correspondents sending us reports from the front.

Hello This Is The Office Of The Specialist You Were Referred To. We Have Decided To Never Call You To Schedule An Appointment Because You Are Evil And We Do Not Accept Evil Patients

Doctors are like: ughhhhh. You're confusing. Come back if you die

there desperately needs to be a separate option to report ads for hijacking your touch screen or automatically launching your browser/app store the moment you scroll past it. "malicious" is not a strong enough word. i need the "go fuck yourself and die in a pit of boiling acid x10000" option

can I talk to you in the woods about something

i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer

if i do something wrong they kill me

i feel like something inside me has gone moldy

i havent done anything or been anyone ever

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

Your misbehaving boyfriend is not funny to me

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry