Fuzzytheduck

hey kids did you know that computers didn't used to automatically connect to the internet. it used to make this screaming noise. we should have listened.

#the worst is when a kid fucking dies #and his parents try to raise awareness that your kid could fucking die #but all they get is other parents telling them their kid died because he was bad at football

I took a bus to a conference today and the bus driver fully stopped the bus to identify and chastise a person who was playing music out loud on their phone. That is how you get me to actually complete the customer service survey specifically so I can give you top ratings

It's days later and I'm still thinking about this man. Full ass bus pulled over to the side of a state highway with the hazards on, stalking down the center aisle intoning "ALL RIGHT. WHO'S GOT IT. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ON SPEAKER." I want to commission a statue of him. a hero. a king.

Fully thought this was a sefira thing

we all know adult humans dont get enough enrichment but the other day i was walkin home past an empty playground and impulsively ran over to spin myself on this zipline merry-go-round contraption for a few minutes and it really did feel like it unlocked some neglected part of my brain. like damn we really should all go outside and play more. fuck. they werent kidding with this play time thing. have you guys heard about play time. it could be huge.

everyone jokes about the pope's hat but most people don't know it actually serves an important purpose! evolutionary threat display to assert dominance against rival bishops

Common misconception, but popes are not bred. Rather, like the matriarchy of clownfish, when a pope dies, the strongest of the bishops takes his place

actually it's more akin to a hive (with strict gender-based hierarchical work division) where larval bishops are fed queen jelly, prompting their transformation into pseudo-popes, at which point they are left to death battle it out winner takes all

I don’t think that’s true

no it's true i checked

I was actually raised catholic so I know this one! The larval bishops when fed queen jelly aren't called pseudo-popes. They're actually called Cardinals, and once the death battle ends, they send up colored smoke as they go into cocoons to finish their transformation into Pope to signal to the hive drone priests that a new Pope has emerged!

[EXTREMELY HAUNTED & HOLLOW-EYED LOOK] yeah man i’m doing. Really good

it's beautiful how many pieces of media are out there for you to not give a single fuck about

“what are you gonna do, cry about it?” yes . the fuck

is there anything worse than accidentally putting on the non-explicit version of an album? where is my beloved wife fuck and my beautiful daughter cunt?

I've been saying for a long time that music streaming services need a "never show me radio/walmart edits" option. I never, EVER want to hear a censored version, that's 1000 times more offensive to me than the worst swearwords

I just saw someone talking about how cishet perisex guys can be great allies at pride etc etc and while I completely agree I think it's funny that they consider this to be like a subcategory of ally. The only other category is cishet perisex girl if you change any other part of the phrase that's not an ally that's just a queer person

People shocked that the Targaryen’s were not liked by the small folk…brother they were colonial dictators with medieval nukes who Habsburged themselves into insanity

when i was a kid i was so mad all the time bc i thought someday i'd have to be somebody's wife i didn't know it was optional. is everybody reminding the young girls in their lives that it's optional.