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â

if i look back, i am lost
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cherry valley forever

⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ
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@lisatelramor
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Nothing but facts

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Never a dull day in Japanifornia courtrooms with these two
Cure White (Horse)
the funniest moment in dungeon meshi is when marcille is having her nightmare and brings up her dead bird while also talking about her dead dad, saying âpapa and pipiâ and laios automatically assumes pipi is marcilles third nonbinary parent on top of her mom and dad

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New York Times readers share a moment when they have felt truly swept off their feet â or have been the ones doing the sweeping. (Bonus: more stories from the comments)
tiny chapel
Hundreds gathered in San Franciscoâs Chinatown as city leaders and community members celebrated the opening of the worldâs first Chinese LGB
Hundreds gathered in San Franciscoâs Chinatown as city leaders and community members celebrated the opening of the worldâs first Chinese LGBTQ museum. Mayor Daniel Lurie joined supporters for the ribbon-cutting ceremony at the OUT Museum, a space dedicated to preserving and sharing Chinese queer history and culture. The museum was founded by Chinese artist and LGBTQ advocate Xiangqi Chen, who spent more than 20 years promoting queer visibility in China before moving to the United States in 2023.
June 5, 2026
Happy Hanguang-June! More Ko-fi Member doodles upon ye!
(Part 2 tomorrow)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Let's ambush mama! đź
"Why do Pallas cats always look grumpy?"
"Pallas kittens."
The sheer roundness of this kitten must be admired.
This is somewhere to be.
[Commission for @rinichey]
Me: Exercise does not cause weight loss. This is a fact that has been demonstrated so robustly in research that even doctors, who hate and fear evidence, are grudgingly starting to admit this.
Someone reading that post: Cool, but have you considered that exercise leads to weight loss?
Me: I am going to eat you
lololol "does too"
does it? not for women after childbirth
does it? not if you want to see an effect size of greater than 1 kilo (2.2lbs)
does it? not if you'd like to see a maintained loss greater than 3.3% of your body weight
does it? not for people with type 2 diabetes
does it? not for people exercising for their non-alcoholic fatty liver disease
Interactive computer-based reminders to diet and exercise are useless.
I mean, I literally went to Cochrane Reviews, one of the best-respected sources for massive meta-analyses, and I just input the keywords "weight loss" and "exercise," and I'm tooling through the results. Every one of the damn things shows that we do not have high-quality research indicating that exercise leads to weight loss. So no. I'm right, and you need to adjust your worldview--ask yourself, if not for weight loss, then why? Re-read those sources: exercise improved muscle density, insulin sensitivity, and cholesterol. It's good for your blood vessels, it's good for your strength, it's good for your brain.
But it won't make you thin. Maybe two pounds, maybe five, but that's about it. If you're looking at short-term, like a year, sure, you can lose weight--but the effort will almost always result in your body going "oh shit, we're living in a famine" and you will regain it, and now, with your body at a new set-point, losing it will be harder. Regaining will be easier. Welcome to the life-destroying yo-yo.
#then what the fuck are we supposed to do?
Exercise and eat lots of fruits and vegetables and whole grains because those things will keep you healthier longer, regardless of how much you weigh, and pick up your pick-axe in the ongoing horribly slow and frustrating fight of chipping away at the idea that being fat is a bad thing that means youâre a bad person. I recommend the book Fat Talk for a good place to start.
Regular exercise helps your general health. Builds muscle. Reduces your heart rate. Keeps your body generally fit and flexible. Often, reduces stress because it gives you time to focus on something other than whatever was stressing you.
Eating good veggies helps digestion, your skin health, emotional balance, and has plenty of other benefits.
Exercise and eating green leafy vegetables have very minimal effects on weight. The biggest effects are on people who gained weight because of a debilitating condition - exercise and diet can help them get back to the shape that's their body's natural condition with their normal metabolism. Usually not quite to where they were before - bodies try very hard to hold on to mass after illness or injuries - but bodies also want to find their normal equilibrium.
Exercise will not turn a fat person into a skinny person. It has plenty of health benefits; "being skinny" is not a health benefit.
Repeat: "Being skinny" is not an indicator of health.
And occasionally I share this one around again:
A few years ago I was getting a pap smear. The doctorâwhom I had just met that morningâhad me in those cold metal stirrups and was rooting a
OP theaverycottage on TikTok âĄ
Not Your Orientalist Fantasy: The Inner Palace in The Apothecary Diaries
Ok my Apothecary fam, this is gonna be a long post but a positive one, so bear with me :3
Iâve loved historical fiction since forever, especially when itâs not centered around Western/white history. But loving the genre comes with a lot of frustration too. Depending on whoâs writing, when theyâre writing, and how well they researched (or didnât), it can easily fall into stereotyping or misinformation.
Recently, I read two historical novels set in empires that depicted versions of a harem:
đ Alamut by Vladimir Bartol, set in medieval Iran, and
đ The Architectâs Apprentice by Elif Shafak, in Ottoman Istanbul.
Both stories include spaces where women live together, sometimes as concubines, nobles, queens, wifes. Sometimes as political actors, sometimes just as plot devices. And both got me thinking: why did I hate those depictions, but love the inner palace in The Apothecary Diaries? Honestly, the way this story handles gendered spaces of power feels smarter, more complex, and more real than a lot of so-called âseriousâ historical novels.
â ď¸ I'm manga + anime only (for now), and this is based on that part of the series (Iâve read up to ch. 80.2 and watched both seasons). Please do not spoil me in the discussions <3
Orientalism vs nuance â how fiction fails (and why this manga doesnât)
"Harem" is a loaded term in the West. Itâs shaped far more by the Western colonial imagination than by actual historical realities. Yes, polygynous systems existed in many empires : Rajput and Mughal India, Qing China, the Ottoman empire, Persia, Egypt, etc. The word harem once meant protection, intimacy, and even a form of soft power. But colonial narratives twisted it into a fantasy, full of sex, silence, and subjugation.
In Alamut, women are brainwashed playthings in a pleasure fortress. Drugs, alcohol, and softcore orgies make it feel like a colonial fever dream. This doesn't surprise me because Vladimir Bartol, the author of the novel, never went to Persia and everything he wrote was inspired by Marco Pollo's writing. Oh ! Another white traveler.
In The Architectâs Apprentice, things are less cartoonish, but still... uneasy. The harem remains this mysterious closed space, romanticized and framed through the male narratorâs gaze. Eventhough the author Elif Shafak, is turkish and a women, I feel that some of her writing does carry stereotypes. And honestly? Even when weâre part of the cultures being depicted, many of us still carry a Western gaze. Thatâs colonization. Thatâs the power of dominant narratives.
So I always feel tense when fiction tackles these gendered spaces â especially when it exoticizes women of color as either voiceless victims or sexualized enigmas. Queerness is often fetishized in these depictions too â as a kind of Orientalist fantasy layered over the womenâs bodies.
But The Apothecary Diaries? It avoids all that. It doesnât pretend these systems were fair or ideal. But it also doesnât pretend they were empty cages.
The inner palace is a social world, not an orgie in disguise
What I love in Apothecary Diaries is that the inner palace isnât just a backdrop for seduction.
Itâs full of life, of power games, alliances, daily routines, and deeply human connections. You see friendships, rivalries, maternal bonds. You see court ladies trained in arts, etiquette, sometimes even politics. Gyokuyou helping Lihua when they are both pregnant. The bond between Lishu and Ah Duo, as a mother-daughter relationship. Maomaoâs friendship with Xiaolan and Shisui. All of it builds a world where women are active agents, even in constrained roles.
So many stories rely on shock value when depicting women in these systems : rape, abuse, trauma. Not to say these things didnât happen, but theyâre so often presented in voyeuristic, almost titillating ways.
The Apothecary Diaries shows us something rarer: the real problems and emotional costs of those systems, without sensationalizing them.
The quiet pain of Gyokuyou, who knows sheâll never have the emperor to herself.
Fuyou, a princess who uses the inner palace as a hiding place, waiting for her beloved, and cleverly tricking the emperor into leaving her alone.
Lihuaâs illness, shaped by the grief of losing her child.
These stories show us that suffering here isnât always loud or dramatic. Sometimes itâs slow, soft, made of waiting and quiet resignation.
And yes, even the deeply disturbing behavior of the previous emperor is part of this reality. His pedophilia was known and frowned upon, yet tolerated, simply because he held ultimate power. No one could stop him. Thatâs part of the horror too.
The ecosystem of the inner palace and the lives of its women reflect the world outside: sorority, friendship, sisterhood, but also rivalry, violence, loneliness, and class divides.
Itâs complex. And thatâs exactly what makes it such a compelling story.
Women navigating patriarchy with intelligence and strategy
Yes, the system is patriarchal. Of course it is. The emperor decides, men rule. But within this system, women still find ways to carve out space â to survive, to strategize, sometimes even to thrive like Gyokuyou.
Some rely on wit, alliances, or sheer luck to stay afloat. Others, like Shenmei, actively choose this world, seeking honor, influence, and status, even when their heart lies elsewhere. They become part of the palaceâs political machinery, navigating its codes and ambitions like anyone else trying to rise within empire.
And then there are those like Lishu, quietly protected â not because of their own agency, but because the palace, for all its rules, still offers more safety than the world beyond its walls.
And what I found particularly brilliant is how the series draws parallels between the inner palace and the pleasure quarters.
Both are systems where women are sexualized, yes. But both also offer women a kind of agency. The courtesans of the red light district, much like Indian tawaifs or Japanese geishas, are shown choosing who to marry, managing their careers, teaching the arts â even sexual education.
Remember when Maomao teaches a noblewoman about sex based on what she learned from the brothel? Thatâs cultural memory, feminine expertise, and class intersection all in one.
Class, gender, and masculinity deconstructed
I also love how the story explores declassed masculinities.
By that, I mean men who donât sit at the top of the patriarchal hierarchy. They donât hold full institutional power, nor do they always benefit from sexual or social dominance.
Take the eunuchs, for example. In a lot of Western fiction, eunuchs are mocked, caricatured, or reduced to tragic figures. But The Apothecary Diaries offers a much richer range of portrayals.
We have two doctors: one naĂŻve and kind, Guen and, the other competent and respected, Luomen. Thereâs also Gaoshun, who has a family â something rare to see in fiction for an eunuch but historically accurate ! These characters are layered, each have different stories. Some are influential and respected. They represent a masculinity that exists outside the norm â marginalized, yes, but far from powerless.
Even Jinshi, with his complicated background, plays with gender expectations. Heâs perceived as delicate, elegant, âtoo beautiful to be taken seriouslyâ â which creates a tension between his apparent softness and his hidden political strength. He performs fragility to disarm people, while holding real authority.
Lihaku, on the other hand, is more of a traditional male figure but his tenderness, his devotion to Pailin, and his friendship with Maomao make him stand out. As a man from a lower class, he also faces barriers and prejudice. He doesn't coast on masculine privilege alone â he has to fight for space in this strategic, stratified society.
Even the current emperor isnât reduced to a brutish patriarch who exploits women. He cares for Lishu, Gyokuyou, and Ah-Duo in different ways â as a father, a companion, a partner in trust. Heâs witty, clever, emotionally attuned. But he too is trapped by his role. He has to marry for political reasons. We see this when he visits Lolan because her family is powerful â despite clearly having no physical interest in her and no admiration for her personality. Itâs duty, not desire.
None of these men fit the traditional mold of patriarchal power.
And thatâs what makes it so refreshing. The Apothecary Diaries doesnât just explore how women survive under patriarchy. It also shows how men who donât fit the dominant script navigate it too.
Some of this is clearly designed to appeal to modern audiences â no, this isnât 100% historically accurate. But it still breaks many stereotypes about men in palace life with harems. Theyâre not just simping 25/7 for the women. Theyâre not defined solely by desire or power over the harem. They have their own lives, their own griefs, and their own constraints. And thatâs rare to see.
When the Gaze Isnât Male or White
Western historical dramas like Versailles, The Tudors, or The Crown are full of royal mistresses, political marriages, lovers used as pawns. And yet. We donât exoticize Anne Boleyn the same way we exoticize, say, HĂźrrem Sultan or Nur Jahan.
The reason? Racism. We romanticize white womenâs sexuality and political maneuvering, but frame women of color in imperial settings as either victims or temptresses. Itâs tiring.
I honestly think this complexity in The Apothecary Diaries and how it breaks stereotypes, is one of the reasons the anime is so popular. It has layers. And one major reason is that the story is told through the eyes of a woman.
Maomao doesnât romanticize or demonize the Inner Palace or the Pleasure District. She observes with curiosity, empathy, and sharp analysis. It brings in a rare kind of female gaze: one that sees both pain and resilience, both survival and ambition.
Thatâs the beauty of Maomaoâs narration. It doesnât flatten or moralize, it understands.
These types of point of view are essentials in fiction. Because how we tell history affects how we see each other. Because stories like The Apothecary Diaries offer us a view of the past that isnât filtered through a white, Christian, male lens.
Because these systems were patriarchal â but they were also complex, dynamic, and full of real human lives. And fiction that gets that? Is precious.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Just to fill this blog with something:
Very rough sketch concept for a small Kaito standee, with a red light hidden inside, revealing Pandora. The corners would be rounded and Iâll make changes still and refine. I need a potent lightâŚ
What all historical fan fiction writers need is a database with a series of videos showing someone getting dressed and then undressing step-by-step with subtitles that tell us the name of each item of clothing, for every possible era and culture
Yes, so we can write smut, obviously, but very informative smut where you come out learning a little something about the undergarments of a woman in the early 1600s Italy and how you might take them off with your teeth