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Contradictory labels and complex IDs such as microlabels are used by the following;
• Trans people
• queer POC individuals
• disabled and neurodivergent people
• intersex people
• literally half of the queer community
Contradictory labels and complex IDs such as microlabels are NOT used by the following;
• predatory cishet men trying to invade queer + women only spaces
We exist too. We always fucking have. Microlabels and contradictory labeled individuals were always apart of queer history. Get your heads out of your fucking asses and stop trying to spread the same bigoted rhetoric in a different font and try to push us out of our own communities just to suck up to our oppressors. Once we’re gone, who do you think they’re gonna be targeting next? They hate all of us fucking equally. You’re not excluded.
not all ships are For wanting them to be in a happy healthy relationship together. sometimes shipping two characters means you want them to be erotically obsessed with each other and become entwined in a mutually toxic love affair for a few months and then horrifically break each other's hearts and never speak again. sometimes you want them to be codependent best friends with enough repression to explode a submarine who only make out/have sex when they're at their worst. sometimes you want them to pine after each other for years, never say anything, and then die. sometimes you want them to kill each other. this, too, is shipping
After encouragement from @five-thousand-loaves-of-bread, I looked up the death of Parker Wells. He was an autistic 11 year old who left his house mid-morning one day and his body was confirmed to be found on July 29th, after 14 days of searching. More details below the cut.
Parker Wells was an autistic kid. It doesn't seem like the family have provided any public memorials with personal information. There's pictures of him scattered through the articles -- a kid with big ear defenders posing wearing a hoodie with a rainbow hand making a peace sign, or in a shirt with a hockey player on it. A kid standing in front of a stairwell grinning. In two of the photos, he's wearing several hats stacked on top of each other, which is the closest I get to seeing something unique to him. He was visibly autistic, with the photos showing him holding his arms in a way that would be easily readable as disabled to others. He had some sort of facial difference. He attended Camp Bonaventure and Renfrew Preschool, both directed at children with significant disabilities. Parker had high support needs.
He "eloped" from his house -- wandered off and left -- sometime in the morning. His parents contacted the police, but no general alert went out because those are restricted to children who may have been kidnapped. As time passed and a public push went out, people in Calgary searched for him -- they coordinated using a website (https://searchparker.org/) that is still up as a memorial.
Ultimately, he was discovered in a series of tunnels that direct the water flowing near a trail. Why was he there? Was he scared and overwhelmed and exhausted? Did he want somewhere dark and quiet? Water is comforting for some autistic people -- did he like to play in the water?
It's not clear how, exactly, Parker died, although the police have said there's zero evidence of foul play.
People have been memorializing Parker, putting candles and plushes in a memorial to his death. Were those people a community while he was alive, or only after he died?
There have also been calls to change the Amber Alert system or create a parallel system to cover disabled children in these sorts of situations as well.
I am a low support needs autistic person, and I've gotten so overwhelmed that I've run out of places and wandered off before. Because I'm able enough to be independent and because I'm an adult, I was able to get back -- calling an Uber, calling my parents, that sort of thing. It would be terrifying if I had no way to get back; if I had no way of communicating to people who may be around me that I was lost.
Parker Wells, may your memory be a blessing.
Links:
I mostly looked through CTV's coverage, which can be found here:
Multiple memorials and tributes are growing as Calgarians mourn the loss of 11-year-old Parker Wells.
The official fundraiser, which includes charities they have requested donations for, is here:
I am Parker's uncle, and with the blessing of Parker's parents, I am org… Scott Wells needs your support for Supporting the Wells Family i
Autism Ontario has a statement, and specifically points out the word of Nicole Corrado, an autistic person who was once a missing person and has worked with police to create better systems for finding autistic people:
Every time you go in a public place and something ISN’T disgusting it’s because somebody cleaned it. Every time you feel comfortable using a public bathroom or sitting at a restaurant table or setting something on a gas station counter or playing on a playground it’s because somebody cleaned it.
Thank you to everyone who cleans the world, especially those who are underpaid and under appreciated.
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I hate the way people categorically say that certain disabilities or types of disabilities are invisible, like autism that often isn't invisible due to things like obvious stimming, disability aids (aac, ear defenders, etc.), or having a carer. People also often say ehlers danlos syndrome isn't a visible disability but a some of the rarer subtypes are visible (like kyphoscoliotic EDS), hEDS is not the only type of EDS and even hEDS and HSD can be visible if someone uses mobility aids, braces, or other medical devices. Psychosocial/mental health disabilities aren't always invisible either, people might have visible self harm scars, a feeding tube, or very obvious symptoms like catatonia or talking to themself.
Disability is a massive spectrum and so is how visible our disabilities are.
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