A little post in favour of getting involved in other people's lives...
I'm the only person who intervened when a woman was sunbathing topless and a bunch of young men surrounded her, called her a whore and ordered her to cover herself. I yelled at them, they tried to turn it on me, it didn't work, they stopped and begrudgingly left, the woman thanked me.
I'm the only person who intervened when I heard a woman fighting a man to escape an apartment; she was only wearing her panties. I grabbed her and told the man to let go of her, which he did. I noticed she had a knife in her hand. I stayed with her for a while till she calmed down and decided what she wanted to do.
I've called the police twice on a man who was beating women in his apartment. Everybody could hear it, no one else cared. The police came, didn't do anything. However, it sent a clear message to both the man and his victims: what's happening is not okay and some people are paying attention and they care enough. I also alerted the building manager.
And this week-end, I alerted a pet shelter because a neighbour who had recently adopted a dog was mistreating him. They immediately sent a team.
And many other instances.
I'm not saying it's easy, my hands are always shaking when I decide to intervene, but it's not that hard and it can make a difference. You have to think of the victims. I know the doubts one might feel: Is it that bad that it needs reporting? Am I going to make things worse? Am I going to hurt someone's feelings or get them in trouble with the law? Am I going to be victimised too? Am I a snitch? Trust me, it's better to be "overreacting" and to be a "snitch" than to look the other way when you could save someone's life. "What if I'm mistaken about the situation?" So what? A little embarrassment never killed anyone, but neglect does, every day.
My cousin once told me the story of when a woman was banging at every door in her building, begging for help and saying her husband was going to kill her. And my cousin said she didn't open her door, because it was none of her business and she didn't want to risk getting involved. From what I've seen, it seems to be how most people still operate. It's none of my business! What's the point of living in a society if people are going to stay as silent as trees? Might as well live in the woods.
I've been through hell and I remember all the times I was left to die by neighbours, teachers, doctors, the police or emergency responders. But I also remember, perhaps more starkly, the people who helped me. I remember the social worker who confronted my mother. I remember the woman on the train who immediately noticed I needed medical attention. I remember the man who yelled from his balcony at the boy who was assaulting me. I remember the people who helped me and my dog get out of the river.
All I can say is: if you can help a woman, a child or a pet, please try. It's not your fault if you don't succeed. But you need to try.
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