Leo Maiden

Stop telling us that you didn't put effort into your art/creations of Black people

"oh it's just a bad sketch I did to the side" "oh I just didn't feel like drawing his hair this time" "oh I just didn't feel like doing her skin well"

Okay well if you didn't feel like putting effort into your depiction, why are you showing it to us? Why are you TELLING us that you didn't care enough to be thoughtful this go round, while expecting us to still applaud you for your work? Especially if you and I know you're capable? It's insulting.

If you didn't want to draw me, you didn't have to. But you don't have to make it seem like it's excessively difficult, especially if you don't say this about anyone else you draw.

Black viewers of your work deserve to know you cared. I'm not saying every piece has to be the Mona Lisa. But if your character is supposed to have deep skin or curly hair, and you just... Decide that's too hard to do sometimes... Why should I settle for your half effort? Just don't share it 😅 wait until you do care 😅 take your time until it's done 😅

1) Figured this out.

I have not managed to find anyone who thinks that in the wild, but it is so damn funny.

the hard part is opening up, relaxing, being tender and letting tenderness come to you

the hard part is noting the ways that the rhetoric that binds you finds its way even into the beliefs of those close to you, and knowing that there is a wall between you that means you will always be a loaded gun to them

the hard part is noticing how these walls don't exist between yourself and other trans women, because the footing is equal. it's wondering whether this ease of trust and closeness with other trans women is how it feels all the time for other people. it's wondering what it's like on the other side, where you don't only ever feel truly safe among people from 0.5% of the world population

the distinction, though, is that the trans women I have been treated poorly by have been deeply, obsessively concerned with their capacity to harm, to a degree that is not healthy

they have been women who were taught they were dangerous, and who don't know how to hold someone gently without feeling like they are digging their claws through their loved one's skin

they have been women who apologize routinely, for everything, because everything they ever do feels like an act of violence to them

this kind of obsession with your own capacity to harm does not let you see your loved ones clearly. it does not let you develop healthy relationships. it can drive you to break your loved ones' hearts as you push them away so that you can't hurt them anymore. it's an obsession that obscures the truth of the love you receive, that isolates, that kills

I observe degrees of this in myself and in virtually every trans woman I meet, and I've developed the phrase "you apologize for the sun shining" to respond to women who apologize for wanting to exist around me, for wanting to be known, for wanting to be seen and heard and loved and understood and treated like humans