The Little Cracks, They Escalated

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

Most autistic dog to ever exist

magical girl shows really did snap when they assigned personality traits based off the members colors

Don’t forget green - more mature and very reliable

Red - Mad

okay but this implies the existence of a lost pink teletubby. a fallen leader too painful to talk about anymore

tubby custard.

No Notes forbidden tubby custard lore post.

Oh Boy the dark! I can’t wait to Go In It

Just ate an entire pear that was so good and so juicy i started gnawing on it with both hands like an animal and the face my supervisor made when he passed by my desk while I was absolutely consumed by my pear fueled bacchanal was Something i have never seen someone look so tired and also so upset and also also so envious

What the fuck kinda job do you have that you can't partake in the joys of pears. Capitalism is evil

Put an egg in your ramen. Put scallions in your ramen. Put chili oil in your ramen. Put kewpie Mayo in your ramen. But nori in your ramen. Put tofu in your ramen. Put miso paste in your ramen. Put mushrooms in your ramen.

Do NOT reply or comment except to add good things to put in ramen. That’s what this post is for.

he's got a sadness about him you only see in catholic stained glass windows

40 notes in and this post already has a blorbo tag. the blorbo? ringo starr. i'm never leaving this website as long as i live

steve harrington’s journey from “hello ladies” (fuckboy) to “ahoy ladies!” (loserboy) is so special to me. like, yeah, there he is. that fuckin’ guy. that little dork. look at him unlearning shitty behaviors. look at him showing his true self. so proud of that tiny disaster child. you go, baby.

having pussy is gender neutral. having cock is gender neutral. having tits is gender neutral. using 3 in one body wash, shampoo and conditioner is for men though

I have no perception of time. I will be like "I have class in 2 hours... Do I have time to shower 🤔🤔"

and then i'll be late to class because I tried to shower 2 hours ahead of time

thinking about my optometrist who was treating my eye infection and said “if it hurts, you can rinse your eye with boiled water. look at me - look at me. i want you to understand that i mean water that has been boiled and has since cooled down. not boiling water. do you understand?” like i’m so grateful for this man ensuring that I wouldn’t destroy my eyes by pouring boiling water in it, because it is an adequate assessment of my intelligence

this is a man who has experienced The Public

“Look at me”

people online will just say "I don't trust the Chinese" as if that's normal and not the sort of thing a cartoon racist would say out loud

If you own an Alexa, Echo, or any other Amazon device, you can fix all of the problems with it by smashing it with a hammer and burning the remains

I love that the phrasing makes it seem like a wedding announcement -- as though they've married and Dan Radcliffe took Weird Al Yankovic's last name