i feel as if i'm going to lose something today

sighhh queer reclamation discourse on the BABY NAME FORUM

pisses me off so much when women on baby name forums are like help my husband and i are having a baby but nothing goes with my husband's ugly surname.... well if your husband had an ugly surname you shouldn't have changes yours to his and passed it down onto your children omg are you stupid....

inb4 i think public toilets should be gender neutral and ideally single stall and also in a situation where a child needs to use the bathroom that child should be the priority and in general idgaf which bathroom someone uses and i especially dgaf if it's a child who, unlike most adults, cannot hold it in and wait. but the stupid discourse du jour which i know about for my sins of using reddit is whether a father who is out with his daughter who is young enough to need assistance in the bathroom should take her into the men's or the women's. and for some reason reddit is overwhelmingly on the side of "he should take her to the women's"? which doesn't make sense to me? because again i do not actually care about someone being in the "wrong" bathroom but it is far easier for me to imagine that women would be uncomfortable with a man in a women's bathroom than men being uncomfortable that a three year old girl, accompanied by her father, is in the men's. and people online are saying "but she won't be safe in the men's bathroom!! she might get harassed by perverts or see a penis!" a three-year-old is going to get harassed by perverts in front of her father? and first of all i don't think someone would be traumatised by seeing a penis but second of all what kind of gay cruising paradise are those people imagining where you can see penises in exquisite detail in the three seconds it will take you to go from the entrance to the stall with your three-year-old daughter. when i was little and out and about, if i was with my mum, she'd take me to the women's, and if i was with my dad, he'd take me to the men's, which i think is the logical way to do it in a place where public bathrooms are gendered. it especially annoys me because in most places, there are equal numbers of men's and women's bathrooms even though, on average, women take a longer time in the toilet because of pregnancy, menstruation, etc etc (and women are also more likely, on average, to have crohn's or ibs or other diseases that mean you spend longer in the toilet). and in addition to women taking longer, the men's toilet is usually the men's, and the women's is women's, disabled people, and children toilet (and the other two groups are also more likely to need the toilet more often and take longer...) and the definition of children is also stretched i feel. in both toilets and changing rooms (and for the latter, i see more of a reason for them to segregated) i have seen women with their sons who look like, ten. like i promise if ten year old timmy is as healthy as he looks he can piss or get changed by himself and not have to witness me trying to wrestle my naked posterior into a swimming costume.

there's so much literature I love and genuinely care about and I am writing my dissertation on things I have stopped caring about completely. Lol