Rip

I think aliens would find astronauts charming with their stocky limbs and helmets that look like a big shiny eyeball. I think they would own marketable plushies of them or perhaps a labubu style keychain

It's nice that loud noises don't stick to clothes like smells do. That would be really bad if they did.

when girls press their whole body against you when they hug, it means they like you a lot. also, they’re measuring your body to determine how long it will take them to eat your flesh, a technique shared by boa constrictors

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

but if I guy said this about a girl ??? ? ??

but if a mouse said this about a kia sorento ??? ? ??

i cant have anything

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child