yearning for the night bus

happy disability pride month to mean cripples, nasty addicts, people with down syndrome who arent nice and talk constant shit, wheelchair users that WILL run you over, autists that dont care and arent about to pretend to, people who lie to their psychiatrists, people that sit on the floor in public places with no benches, amputees that lie profusely about "what happened", ; to the "noncompliant", the "drug seeking", the "mean", the "difficult" and the "undeserving", and so on and so forth, i love us all and we deserve the world actually mwah mwah

to people that hide contraband in their assistive devices. to people that do party tricks they arent supposed to and people who will spit on you if you ask them to do party tricks. to people that weaponise the infantalisation of disabled people for their own purposes (theft et. al.). to the people who "misuse" their medication and people who dont take it at all. to my mother, who takes out her hearing aids when she doesnt want to hear shit anymore but will still pretend to be listening so you dont catch on. to people who sleep all the time and to people with "abnormal" circadian rhythms who are unwilling to alter their sleep/wake cycle to best appeal to societal (and moral) expectations. to people that complain loudly about inaccessibility and refuse to try and "make it work". to people that charge money for invasive questions and people that pretend not to understand the question at all.

one of the many reasons to insist upon chronological timelines is that it's much, much harder to scroll forever if you can catch up with yourself. if you can run out of tumblr because you reach yesterday, that is a good and helpful prompt to do something else.

This isn't just for cults either! Shitty partners, bosses, friends - they all do variants of this where if you kick back the first time they make an unreasonable request, it proves you weren't ever committed since you'd let such a small thing ruin everything. And of course, if it's the third or the tenth unreasonable thing they ask of you, it's SUCH A SMALL THING to be a deal-breaker at this late point in your relationship!

in law school, my mom took me to this stress retreat because my family was vaguely aware i was a suicide risk. and they didnt allow phones, so i brought this huge bag of books. and one of the options for "destressing" was this fake cave grotto thing, where they'd decorated a room to make it look exactly like an underground cave and the air was like -10 degrees, but there was a like 4ft deep pool in the middle that was kept super super hot, so you would just switch between the hot and cold. and they would bring you an endless supply of this weird syrupy drink thing that was like super caffeinated and tasted like sugar and mint. and so i spent multiple days sitting half submerged in this fake grotto drinking mystery liquid and reading. and i have to be honest i really did feel less stressed

My kids once expressed a plan to me that involved a time machine, Andrew Jackson, and a hickory walking stick containing a bomb. What it lacked in practicality, it made up for in understanding the history lesson I had just given them (having at that point thrown the school's weak-ass mid-lockdown lesson plan across the room and engaged in a furious rant about the real stuff). The more you look at history, the more you start thinking you're gonna need a bigger time machine.

australian sour patch kids have gluten in them i am truly at my fucking limit im crashing out im waging war against wheat idgaf anymore

oh is that one of those things where ableist companies put in traces of common allergens so they can just avoid the cost of making it safe

WHAT

A Horse power being only 735 watt is honestly so weird like that's not even enough to run a modern game on decent seatings

I don't like that fact

No but for real. Your brain is one of the most advanced machines known to exist. It's a computer capable of running a sapient intelligence on - and I cannot stress this enough - 25 watts of broccoli and stew. What the fuck.

It's a cool fact it just makes me uncomfortable

it's shit i didn't even register before transitioning too. i went out with my friends to a diner yesterday, one is a girl and the other gets clocked as a girl, and when we went in and they asked for the name of the table they asked Me specifically. like looked dead in my eyes and asked Me. i was addressed when it orders and payment first as well. like. Damn. Okay. Shit

Everyone loves to talk about carcinization but nobody talks about how unrelated clades of plants repeatedly evolve into trees.

And if you are upset about that, don't ask what a fish is.

one of my favourite human songs-and-dances is when someone notices someone else is lying and, for no particular reason besides love of the game, helps them get away with the lie without ever explicitly acknowledging they noticed. nightmare social animals.

Best brain hack is taking “this too shall pass” and applying it in the micro. The panic you feel from an argument with a friend, wanting to get on your phone when you should be studying, the absolute obsession with someone you’re crushing on, pain from rejection, utter hopelessness at a situation that is not entirely hopeless. Heavy on situations that induce panic and incentivize you to act out of turn, maybe to send a text you shouldn’t be sending or to blow up at someone or whatever it is. The antidote to knee jerk reactions is literally just “this too shall pass” and allowing yourself to feel the physical manifestation of your extreme emotion. Literally just ride it out. Even for things that can’t immediately be resolved, it makes such a big difference and prevents you from reacting in ways that you would undoubtedly regret down the line.

you: Oh no I can't write this, my writing is too generic and derivative, it's all just a copy of a copy of a copy with nothing original or unique to it. I suck and I have no original touch. also you: Oh no I can't write this, my writing is too self-indulgent and tailored to only please my own specific preferences and interests. It's too weird and perverse and nobody else writes weird shit like this. I suck and I must be more normal.

also some of you you: I have this weird fetish I cannot speak to anyone about, because it's so obscure and far-fetched that I've never even found porn about this specific thing. I'm the only person in the world who even has this kink. I hope nobody notices that I've let some of that slip in here. the second person in the world who has that kink: [vibrating with lust hard enough to be used as paint mixer] H-hho-hhooll-hollyyyyy sh-hhh-hhhiiiiii-iiit

Remember when joining fandom as a younger person meant lurking for a bit and figuring out the vibe and etiquette instead of coming in on day one and calling people weirdos for liking weirdo shit in the weirdo factory.

Lurking is also an enrichment for the soul. No social commitments. Just a sublime appreciation for the people and art around you