not alive not dead but a secret third thing (chronically ill)
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@namelessennes
not alive not dead but a secret third thing (chronically ill)

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suggestions for gender neutral version of mom/dad? something less formal than just βparentβ
please note that while progenitor, guardian, spawnpoint etc are all respected titles, they are more the equivalent of mother/father than an affectionate nickname you would scream through the house multiple times a day. gimme something we can use people
I just tried to combine the words and got βdomβ and i cant-
but wait, if we reverseΒ βdomβ you getΒ βmodβ. I suggest we useΒ βmoderatorβ as a gender neutral version of mom/dad
Admin and op would work makes them sound powerful and in charge of everything
Admin (respectful) Op (derogatory)
i was going to add something else to this but instead i got to thinking and i was like huh. what could you use.
in most languages the word for βmotherβ usually starts with an M, because phonetically [m] is one of the easiest sounds for a newborn to make when they start babbling, and mothers tend to be the one most around the child. so in my mind that crosses M off the list, because itβs automatically associated with a feminine figure
similarly, βfatherβ tends to start with D, T, P, or B. (phonetically these sounds are very close together; [p, b] and [d, t] are all only different because of being voiced or unvoiced.) these are also phonetically easy letters and ones kids pick up on earlier.
now the hard sounds for kids are the following: [ΙΉ, dΝ‘Κ, tΚ, ΞΈ, Γ°] or in normal speak: the English R, the βjβ or βdgeβ sound in βjudge,β the βthβ sound in βthighβ and the βthβ sound in βthe.β and we donβt want kids unable to say their parentβs name for years, so those are also off the list.
additionally, itβs easiest for young kids to just repeat the same sound twice rather than figuring out the tongue gymnastics of putting different sounds together, which is why kids will say Ma-Ma or Da-Da and not Ma-Mo or Da-Po. and weβll want to stick with low back vowels like βahβ and avoid ones like the hard βiβ or βee.β
so what does that leave us? when we want a sound kids can learn easily and early but donβt want to just put a funky spin on βmamaβ or βdadaβ?
my suggestions: G, K, W, L. i personally lean towards W and L. theyβre called liquids, since theyβre the consonants that kind of arenβt consonants, and kids (and ESL learners) will tend to swap out the English R for a W or L until they can learn the R.
if i ever have a child, theyβll start calling me Wawa. then when they get older, theyβll call me Wala, or maybe even Wally.
and then, once theyβre finally phonetically developed, they can call me by my true title as their nonbinary guardian for their 18+ years:
Waluigi.
Okay, but on an actually serious note, Baba is used in several different languages, but the meaning changes between mother, father, or grandparent. However, it is not used in English afaik, so it could be a good English option.
baba is what I use as a nonbinary parent (it has a long history for butches!) and this post hit me like a two-by-four to the back of the goddamn HEAD
How about Tata, because no matter what, theyβre gonna try to latch onto a nipple
wait wait wait, do babies try to latch on to the nipples of non-lactating parents too? is this a thing? do babies just automatically zero in on any nipple in the vicinity, regardless of the presence of breasts or breast milk? is this an experience cis men deal with I need to KNOW
UPDATE: based on the notes the answer is a resounding YES!!!
I canβt speak to cis menβs experience, but my house has this kind of lamp, and my progeny were both very fascinated by it whenever I would carry them under one of them.
The lamp thing is legit, Iβve discussed it with so many fellow breastfeeding parents. The weirdest one for me was when my son latched onto the tied knot of a balloon.
I am so so grateful I decided to scroll through the tags:
oh fantastic tags:
#maudΒ #when i was little i called both my parents mom/dad mixture i didnβt know who i wanted so just who ever came first to me yelling that
Enter the WISE AND GAUDY SLIME, attendants, clowns, and wizards, with DOGGONLO the SEER
GAUDY SLIME Again I come to you, my followers, To ask a question near my goopy heart: When speaking to a parent, gender - none, What name am I to give them when I call? For, while βprogenitorβ is accurate, βTis not a quip to call across the town.
FIRST CLOWN The word that comes to mind at first is βdomβ.
FIRST WIZARD βTis true, but if reversβd thy message is, A βmoderatorβ comes to mind, with βmodβ.
SECOND WIZARD Why, βopβ would work when paired with βadminβ βtis.
GAUDY SLIME Say βadminβ when respect and love thou needst, Say βopβ when meant derogatorily.
DOGGONLO At first, hearing thy words, I was to jest; But then, at second thought, I pondered it. What could one use when not a βmaβ or βpaβ? So, βmaβ, the word, comes from a babeβs outcry, Since βemβ and βahβ are easy to pronounce. And βdaβ and βpaβ are also simply said. So what for gender-null? What for our Slime? Well, βjaβ and βthaβ and βtsaβ are none a fit, As βja-tha-tsaβ are difficult to say - No babe could speak them while still in its youth. And in addition, repetitionβs key, For βma-maβ is to βpa-maβ pref'rable. Weβll stay with low and back-held vowels, too, For βeeβ and βeyeβ are too complex for babes, So to the βahβ and βoohβ we keep our sound. Remaining still available to us, Good βgaβ, kind βkaβ, wise βwaβ, and, lastly, βlaβ. Of these fine gents I point to βlaβ and βwaβ As consonants that almost vowels be And make for ease of song for baby voice. If ever I a child take to me (For man or woman, neither one am I) A βwawaβ or a βlalaβ will I be. And as they grow, their speech will strong become Till finally my true nameβs in their grasp: βTis Waluigi.
FIRST ATTENDANT Spite! O, I am hit! I thought I was to learn the lore of words But struck by cruel and slapstick strike am I!
THIRD WIZARD Uh, βbabaβ works, itβs used in other tongues.
SECOND ATTENDANT Yes, βbabaβ is the one I use, i'faith. But still - o Seer, why must thou attack?
SECOND CLOWN It seems to me that βtataβ is the one For babes to βtatasβ cling, no matter what.
GAUDY SLIME Wait, clown, dost thou speak truth to me? Real truth? Will babes reach for a breast devoid of milk?
CLOWNS and ATTENDANTS cheer in affirmation.
O never had I thought this day would come.
Enter the gay mothers, THOUGHTFUL and SUZLOUA.
THOUGHTFUL I cannot of a milkless breast inform, But lights shaped like a breast will draw the babe.
SUZLOUA Iβve heard the same by others said before. My sonβs reached out for tied balloons in past.
GAUDY SLIME In gratitude I share with you a tale βTwas whisperβd to my ear a moment since: One said, when baptised, he then lookβd about And tried to eat the βmilkβ of candles lit.
THIRD CLOWN This scene has all that ever I could want, The milk of human kindness shows itself, The gender-neutral words are brought along, And finally, our Waluigiβs here.
GAUDY SLIME Before we go, one final note to say: A friend has lately told that, as a child, Theyβd call for βmaudβ to come, for βtwas A combination βmaβ and βdadβ in brief.
Merriment and rejoicing. The SHAKESPEAREIFIER lurks in the corner, taking notes.
Exeunt.
Archived.
Holy shit this is fantastic I love it
I had a shitpost about it being βmadβ
But this postβs better
People die on the job every summer. Remember that water and shade breaks are crucial when working in the heat, and calling emergency services for signs of serious heat illness (fatigue, nausea/vomiting, headaches, dizziness, clammy skin, confusion, agitation, slurred speech, high body temperature, rapid heart rate, etc.) is entirely appropriate. If youβre afraid to call 911 for reasons such as being undocumented, youβll need to get very familiar with how to prevent, recognize, and treat heat illness. If you are symptomatic and not allowed a break, water, or medical treatment, walk out. No matter how broke you are, your job is not worth your life.
Official please put yourself first sign
having the Aviation Accident Investigations Autismβ’οΈ has actually done wonders for the way I process and respond to my own fuck-ups
And I don't just mean "oh, my little work mistake is actually nothing compared to a fiery crash that kills people," either. The reason commercial flight is so many orders of magnitude safer than any other form of transportation is because after every accident and incident, an independent regulatory body investigated it with the express goal of figuring out exactly what happened, why, and how to prevent the same thing from ever happening againβnot to root out which person deserved the blame or the liability.
It's a simple, shockingly effective idea. It's also worlds away from how most people approach their own mistakes and the mistakes of others.
Because itβs never just one personβs fault. And even when it is, it still isnβt.Β
The sharpest, best-trained pilots make worse decisions when they're tired or sick or stressed out, so there's two of them. The most dedicated and experienced air traffic controllers garble an instruction over the radio sometimes, so pilots are trained to always repeat clearances back to catch misunderstandings quickly. The best and brightest maintenance mechanic still overlooks a screw or misconnects a wire once or twice in her career, so aircraft systems are built with two or three or four layers of redundancy, and pilots are exhaustively trained to deal with failures safely.Β
Everyone eventually has a bad day. Every component breaks down. Every computer gets a bad a Windows update and spirals into a reboot doom loop. If itβs possible for one personβs mistake to domino into a mushroom cloud of a fuckup, then that task is too critical to be one person's sole responsibility. The accident sequence starts with the design of the systemβso how do you improve the system to keep it from happening again?
oh yeah. The βmodern commercial aviation is the safest form of transportβ thing only applies to planes, btw. A helicopter is a beautiful metal horse that wants to break its legs and die so so so badly
βIf itβs possible for one personβs mistake to domino into a mushroom cloud of a fuckup, then that task is too critical to be one person's sole responsibility.β
I need to remember this

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When guinea pigs say wheek wheek wheek. Reblog if you agree.
#if I had the grindset guinea pigs have with wheeking I'd be dead in a month
gameoverse seems fun enough. but the cynical feminist in me can't help herself. all the male characters are like, cartoon blobs, which is contrasted strongly by the two major female characters in this pilot, both of whom are hour-glass shaped humanoid women who spend most of their screentime in swimsuits. and like that's not an outright dealbreaker but i *am* staring into the camera with my eyebrows raised.
idk i'm getting really tired of this "connecticut clark and malfina" type shit where male characters get to be Silly Abstract Little Guys but women have to be women shaped. it's this male-as-default thing that i hate where you don't need to add anything to a character design to imply male-ness but the woman better have wide hips and booba or else yknow like idk it's not outright Offensive but it is tiring
how it feels seeing a woman depicted in any media
I've got to look up every possible way to sew hidden, concealed and non-obvious pockets and other such storage caches in all of my clothing, and then have as many of those as I can fit in every item in my wardrobe. Trying to get as much hidden storage space on my person as possible. Carrying around a backpack's worth of shit without carrying a bag of any sort.
Getting bored while waiting for the bus and just casually pulling a goddamn sewing kit out of my sleeve to start doing needlework on my jeans, like hey hold on where the fuck did you just pull that shit from. Equipping shit from my secret inventory.
PUU WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT CAT COMING FOR MY IMMORTAL SOUL OR WHAT
this is an exceptionally powerful pair of creatures

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"I want to be a dragon."
αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·
αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·
αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·
αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·
αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·
αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·
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αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·
αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·αβΜ€αα·
Long COVID patients can experience severe energy crashes after physical exertion. New research provides clear evidence that there's a biolog
Full Transcript at the link; 3-minute listen.
Quote:
By taking biopsies from long COVID patients before and after exercising, scientists in the Netherlands constructed a startling picture of widespread abnormalities in muscle tissue that may explain this severe reaction to physical activity.
Among the most striking findings were clear signs that the cellular power plants, the mitochondria, are compromised and the tissue starved for energy.
"We saw this immediately and it's very profound," says Braeden Charlton, one of the study's authors at Vrije University in Amsterdam.
The tissue samples from long COVID patients also revealed severe muscle damage, a disturbed immune response, and a buildup of microclots.
"This is a very real disease," says Charlton. "We see this at basically every parameter that we measure."
I feel insane seeing stuff like this because this research already exists for Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, a post viral condition caused by multiple types of viral infections that a LOT of people with "Long Covid" meet the diagnostic criteria for.
This article mentions that ME/CFS is a "similar complex condition" but that's DEEPLY underreporting the similarities. The phrase "post exertional malaise" (now researchers are trying to replace it but this article uses that phrase) was INVENTED for ME/CFS. It's the only known condition, before "long covid", that causes these kinds of symptoms after exertion!
It's good to know for sure that it's the same mechanisms at play when the inciting viral infection is Covid and not, for instance, Epstein-Barr or RSV, but half the time it doesn't seem like researchers are making comparisons at all, just reinventing the wheel and acting like "long covid" is a totally new phenomenon with no previous point of comparison. There are literally drugs in human trials to try to treat the mitochondrial dysfunction in ME, this dysfunction is well-established and fairly well understood and I feel insane when ppl report on long covid without mentioning that there is already a named and studied condition that accounts for this subset of symptoms!!
SOME researchers are drawing comparisons but they're largely ME researchers who everyone else is largely cignoring because of the widespread perception that ME is a fake disease for lazy women.
That same perception btw is why "graded exercise therapy" (GET), or exercise gradually increasing in intensity, cwas for years the go-to treatment despite MOUNTAINS of evidence that it makes ME patients sicker. Some end up permanently bedbound and unable to even eat or drink without a feeding tube/IV because the damage is so bad! The GET recommendation was finally changed only in the past few years in the US and the UK, and many doctors hate that they're not allowed to recommend it anymore, because they insist despite the evidence that ME/CFS is psychological and ME patients are just "deconditioned" and too lazy to do anything about it.
Now the same kind of "treatment" is being recommended for long covid patients despite evidence showing exercise is having the same kinds of cellular effects as it does in ME patients. "Taking PEM into account" sounds gentler but I'm deeply concerned about the reinvention of GET for patients who meet all the criteria for an illness that's been shown definitively to become permanently worse with GET. This mitochondrial damage is progressive in ME, and there's no reason to believe patients who meet all the criteria of ME after Covid won't experience the same progression if they force themselves past their energy envelope in such a systematic way.
The additional finding that T cells β part of the immune system's arsenal β had infiltrated the muscles of long COVID patients also caught Iwasaki's attention, possibly indicating "an autoimmune response within the muscle cells."
This autoimmune response is well-researched for ME. Every time you overexert, you're injuring your cells more and more. It's deeply worrying that rebranded GET is being recommended for long covid patients who meet the criteria for ME when research like this study keeps showing it's the same phenomenon.
My personal experience with being asked this question and then given that line, is that the neurotypical person expected you to feel shame. I have some slightly less anecdotal evidence to back up this anecdotal experience. I took substitute teacher training once, and we were told that the best thing to do with middle schoolers "acting up," was to shame them, to figure out how to draw attention to them and this negative attention in front of their peers would shame them into good behaviour, or at least silence. I raised my hand, having already distinguished myself as the "weirdo" of the group, and said, "Is this the reason I spent a lot of time in the principal's office for truthfully, loudly, and clearly answering questions like, 'would you care to share your thoughts with the class?'" And was told yes, that was a perfect example, but I was the rare case where it backfires.
Since then, I have responded to that type of question with, "Do you want an explanation, or was your intent simply to indicate that I need to feel inferior, right now?" and it does tend to turn the tables a little bit.
Problem with that response is that if it is a person who has any power over you, that is going to escalate the conflict. And they are going to use that power against you.
Yes.
But the alternative is not escalating the conflict. And they are going to use that power against you.
I mean, the outcome that they're probably expecting is for you to act embarrassed for a few seconds, stop whatever you had been doing, and then they can move on with their lesson while you are quiet. Annoying for the victim, but self-contained.
If you openly call them out like this, they'll lose their perceived authority unless they throw the book at you (or at least they likely believe that those are the stakes).
Yes. I know.
You seem to think that restating 'just put up with shitty behavior; making a fuss will make it worse for you' makes it a compelling argument.
It does not. That allows them to go on with shitty behavior unchallenged.
"Just submit to anyone being mean to you; your dignity, the truth, and morality don't matter--just give in to ANY amount of peer pressure."
How about no because I deserve basic human dignity, the truth is important, and I'm not putting up with immoral, rude, and sadistic people who get their jollies off humiliating other people.
People like y'all have a spine made of water and are like 75% of why everything is in the state it's in.
Get some fucking moral fiber that doesn't consist of "roll over and let anyone to anything to you all the time; you'll be rewarded for this after you die".

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I also think that the strength gap is at least partially manufactured women would in fact be stronger overall if little girls were encouraged to do physically taxing games and activities and eat their fill while theyβre growing vs having to constantly diet and be sedentary indoors (or god forbid do intense cardio while under-eating). The amount of adult women honestly afraid to lift weights bc they think theyβll get bulky as though bulking isnβt a full time job that athletes have to spend all their time on and anyone on earth gets shredded from just using their adult muscles for their intended purpose, girl your bone density π₯
if you say women are intentionally nerfed from birth in 2026 people look at you like youβre insane and start condescendingly telling you about how women are just better at different things (but not during their periods haha) but this was a completely basic feminist talking point I grew up with like βgirls can do it too! [shot of little girls climbing and running with boys]β nickelodeon commercial tier base level I hate it how is everyone suddenly dumber than the average 7 year old
"Clearly I wasn't talking about disabled people-" yeah part of the problem is that the existence of disabled people just isn't considered in your worldview like that's the problem we're criticizing not a get out of jail free card