Kati Morton, LMFT

We explore Alison Canavan's framework, the "Energy Bank Method," to break down why emotional currency is drastically more important than time management. Alison candidly shares her personal journey through international modeling as a teenager, navigating addiction, and recovering from severe burnout. We discuss the toxic trap of learned compliance—where children shrink themselves to fit into unsafe spaces—and how this manifests as lifelong hypervigilance. Kati and Alison also dig into family dynamics, uncovering why passive homes leave adults completely unequipped for healthy conflict repair, how narcissism affects generational gaslighting, and the overlapping symptoms of anxiety, ADHD, and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.

In this video, I’m breaking down why second-guessing can actually be a self-trust issue, not just an anxiety issue. We’ll talk about the childhood dynamics that teach us to stop trusting ourselves, how that shows up in adult relationships and decision-making, and why the critical voice in your head may not really be yours. And most importantly, we’ll start to understand that you don’t have to feel completely confident before you begin trusting yourself again. My books & workshops: https://katimorton.com

In this deep dive, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Kati Morton shifts to a single-topic podcast format to dissect "over-functioning" doing more in a relationship than the other person to feel safe or earn love. We discuss the psychological roots of extreme people-pleasing, toxic independence, and how fawning acts as a childhood trauma response. Kati reviews thirty years of data on "unmitigated communion" (focusing on others to the total exclusion of self), a 7-year study of 1,340 couples showing how over-giving traps people in unhappy relationships, and groundbreaking 2022 medical research linking self-silencing directly to carotid plaque. Finally, you'll get a 4-step actionable framework to break the loop using deliberate under-functioning and specific boundary setting.

In this video, I explain the difference between restorative self-care and avoidant coping, why emotional avoidance isn't a conscious choice, how our nervous system learns to process emotions, and five signs your self-care routine may be helping you avoid difficult feelings instead of work through them. If you've ever wondered whether self-care is a lie, why self-improvement isn't working, or why you're doing all the "right" things but still feel stuck, this video is for you.

If you’ve ever thought, “why do I keep doing this?” …this conversation might be helpful :) xoxo

In this episode, licensed therapist Kati Morton, LMFT, covers when to stay in a relationship vs when to leave, how attachment wounds and fear of abandonment distort your read on a partner, how to start therapy when you have BPD, bulimia, self-harm, and constant flashbacks but no clear goal, what healthy love actually looks like beyond social media, why you feel empty after a good night out with friends, how to break shame spirals using vulnerability and grounding, how to find yourself again after burnout, depression, or a traumatic event, and inner child work techniques for meeting your own emotional needs.

If you’ve ever felt emotionally numb, shut down during conflict, or disconnected from your own feelings, this video is for you. In today’s episode, licensed therapist Kati Morton breaks down why emotional unavailability is often not a personality trait, but a survival response learned in childhood. We explore emotional shutdown, alexithymia, childhood emotional neglect, nervous system responses, trauma coping mechanisms, and why reconnecting with your emotions can feel so difficult. Kati also shares practical tools to help you begin feeling safe in your body again, including somatic therapy techniques, grounding exercises, emotional awareness, and small ways to rebuild emotional connection over time. If you’ve struggled with emotional numbness, attachment wounds, people pleasing, dissociation, or feeling disconnected from yourself and others, this conversation will help you understand where those patterns come from — and how healing can begin.

Shopping with our sponsors helps support Ask Kati Anything • ZocDoc - visit Zocdoc | Find a Doctor Near You | Book Doctors Online to find and instantly book a doctor you love today! https://www.zocdoc.com/KATI • Ka’Chava - Go to Ka’Chava: https://kachava.com/ and use code KATI for 15% off your first order • Reddit - Download the Reddit app today!

We’ll also cover what ADHD actually looks like in daily life, why traditional diagnostic criteria miss these patterns, and what to do if this resonates, including how to get an ADHD evaluation and start working with your brain more effectively. If you’ve been masking, people-pleasing, or feeling exhausted trying to keep up, this may finally help things make sense.

Shopping with our sponsors helps support Ask Kati Anything. ZocDoc - visit https://www.zocdoc.com/KATI to find and instantly book a doctor you love today!

Emotionally unavailable or codependent mom, narcissistic mother, toxic mom, and childhood emotional neglect can leave lasting effects - even when everything looked “perfect on paper.” In this video, I talk about what it means to grow up with a mother who was physically present but emotionally unavailable, and how that can shape your mental health in adulthood. We’ll explore common signs of an emotionally unavailable or narcissistic parent, and how it can show up now - like people-pleasing, difficulty trusting others, struggling with boundaries, or feeling disconnected from your emotions. If you’ve ever thought, “nothing was really wrong, so why do I feel this way?” this will help you better understand the impact of a toxic or emotionally unavailable mom and begin unpacking childhood emotional neglect so you can start healing.

She caught herself mid-sentence and realized it wasn't her voice. It was her mother's. This episode is about the patterns you inherited without knowing it, the ones running your parenting, your relationships, and the way you talk to yourself right now. Kati sits down with JoAnn Crohn, parenting educator and founder of No Guilt Mom, for a conversation that starts with mom guilt and lands somewhere much deeper. JoAnn shares how she white-knuckled through breastfeeding because she believed that's what a good mom does, and the single sentence from a therapist that broke the pattern. Kati talks about spending a month with her own mother and watching in real time as her self-talk mirrored thoughts her mom carried decades earlier. Together they trace how the martyrhood pattern gets passed down, why so many women lose themselves in motherhood without noticing, and what it actually takes to come back. They also cover why families that never fought produce adults who think conflict means the relationship is over, what happens when your kid leaves for college and you realize your identity went with them, the journaling practice that rewired JoAnn's thought spirals, why naming your inner critic actually helps you stop believing it, and how JoAnn found herself again through improv comedy at 44. This is the conversation for anyone who has ever heard themselves say something and thought: that wasn't me. That was my mom.

Do you feel like you’re always trying harder - doing more, giving more, being more - and it still never feels like enough? In this video, I explore the deeper belief underneath that pattern: “Who I am isn’t enough, so I have to make up for it.” When this belief is driving your thoughts and behavior, it can leave you constantly overextending yourself, second-guessing your worth, and feeling like love or acceptance has to be earned. We’ll talk about where this core belief comes from, why it’s so hard to shake, and the emotional cost of living this way...burnout, anxiety, and never feeling secure in relationships. Most importantly, we’ll walk through how to start challenging this belief so your sense of worth isn’t tied to what you do, but rooted in who you are.

Shopping with our sponsors helps support Ask Kati Anything. Please check out this week's special offers: • Magnesium promotes relaxation and more restful sleep - visit https://bioptimizers.com/kati for 15% off any order • Care.com: Get 20% off a subscription or a senior care advisor plan at https://www.care.com/ using code KATI

If you struggle with people-pleasing, setting boundaries, or constantly putting others first, you may be experiencing the fawn trauma response. In this video, a licensed therapist explains what fawning is, how it develops from childhood trauma, and why it shows up in relationships, anxiety, and codependency patterns. You’ll learn how the fawn response differs from being “nice,” why your brain uses it as a survival strategy, and how it connects to attachment styles and emotional safety. We’ll also walk through practical tools like mindfulness and box breathing to help you stop automatic people-pleasing and start prioritizing your own needs.

Shopping with our sponsors helps support Ask Kati Anything. Please check out this week's special offers: • Zocdoc: Find and book top-rated doctors, therapists, or mental health providers near you in minutes https://www.zocdoc.com/kati • Go to https://kachava.com and use code KATI for 15% off your first order