#katimorton

D – describe: Most conversations are doomed from the beginning because the first statements sound accusatory. You need to start from a neutral stance. Avoid opinions, “you” statements- otherwise you’re sliding into blame-game territory.

E – express: All you are doing here is showing the other person how the situation affects you. Again, this helps you avoid the blame-game. 

For eg. “You make me worry.”-a “you” statement. Instead a simple “I get frustrated and anxious looking for you” should suffice. 

I know it’s hard, allow yourself to be emotional here, but honestly it opens the opportunity for them to validate you. They can’t be validating if they don’t know how you feel.

A – assert: What do you prefer to see differently?

Examples: “I would like it if you called me before cancelling plans.”  Or “Next time, can you let me know ahead of time you won’t make it?”

As opposed to a soft, passive response: “It’s ok, I forgive you.” when you really don’t.

Or an unwarranted harsh one: “I don’t want to see you again.” when you’re really just hurt.

R – reinforce: Think of this as your “why”. Why do you need this change? Reinforcing drives the point home and will help the other person understand the importance of what you need. “Next time, can you let me know ahead of time you won’t make it? I would worry less and can plan my time ahead.”

M – mindful: If you’re not mindful, you could fall back into the habit of lashing out in anger or passively pretending nothing is wrong. In other words, your nerves will get the best of you and your message might not be as clear.

A – appear confident. You can’t control how you feel, but you can control your central nervous system somewhat by remembering to breathe, to think about what you say, to slow down if you need. It really does make a difference.

N – negotiate: Lastly, be firm, but willing to compromise. It helps to know what you want and what you’re willing to give. Think before speaking-where would you draw the line?

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Many women are being diagnosed with autism later in life — in their 30s, 40s, 50s, or beyond — after years of feeling different, overwhelmed, anxious, or like they had to “perform” socially just to get through the day. In this video, we’re talking about adult autism in women, why it’s so often missed, and what the signs of autism can actually look like when someone has spent years masking. For decades, autism was understood through a very narrow lens, often based on how it showed up in young boys. Because of that, many autistic women were overlooked, misdiagnosed, or told they were just anxious, too sensitive, shy, dramatic, or struggling with something else entirely. We’ll break down why late diagnosed autism in women is so common, how masking can hide autistic traits, and why finally receiving an adult autism diagnosis can feel validating, emotional, and life-changing.