Look! A distraction!!

You heard me.  

Nightjars.

They are the BEST birds.  Don’t come at me with BUT CORVIDS y’all know Corvids aren’t birds, they’re magic.

Anyway.  Nightjars.  Why nightjars, you might ask.  Well let me tell  you why.

I’ve already told you about the Tawny Frogmouth

But there is also the Great Eared Nightjar

Pennant-winged Nightjar

Standard-winged Nightjar. Yes, those are part of its wings. No, I don’t know WTF.

This oddly shaped stump.  haha tricked you!  It’s a Tawny frogmouth and baby.

Lyretail Nightjar.  again, why.  again, no idea.

Australian owlet-nightjar

Swallowtail Nightjar.  Not so fancy?  look again. that mustache.

Not into cute mustaches on birds?

Tell that to this Sickle-winged Nightjar.  

Before it cuts you down with its badass wings.

Hey another stump - wait no it’s a FROGMOUTH

I’m not the first to have come to this conclusion.  

says right there.  BEST BIRD.

Ok whatever Indian Nightjar doesn’t care what you think about it.

Like the nightjar, anurognathus were small insectivores that likely hunted at dusk/dawn, and had wings shaped especially for maneuverability that allowed them to deftly move through the canopy and hunt their prey: small insects. Their mouths were especially big and wide for their little heads, just like the nightjar, which is perfect for catching tiny and erratically-flying bugs.

You can’t look at these two and tell me they aren’t basically the same animal, separated by millennia, but obviously evolved for exactly the same thing.

“Girl, what is gonna happen when I’m not here?” A jogger rescued a deer TWICE in the span of three minutes after it kept getting stuck in fences at Georgia’s Stone Mountain Park.

And like 

And even???? 

He’s so angry and ready to Throw Down 

But then in actuality he’s just 

Once they rewrote the character they were in a panic. Who could voice such a role?

None other than Alan Tudyk, known as “Walt Disney Studios’ lucky charm” due to his roles as Duke in Frozen, King Candy in Wreck-It Ralph and KTSO in Rogue One, who made the front freaking page of the Wall Street Journal due to his performance.

Tudyk says: “The character you’re playing, even though he’s a rooster and is really stupid, you approach it in the same way you would approach Hamlet, which is exactly how I approached it. But they give you the circumstances. “You’re on the boat. You didn’t expect to be here. You just climbed in a boat to maybe sleep. You don’t even know why you climbed in the boat. You’re really that dumb. Every three minutes is a new world to you, so you see that you’re trapped on this boat, and you freak out. Go.” 

Note: Tudyk went to Julliard.

“The following is a list of people who can suck it. Number One: The Joker. I don’t think I need to explain that one. Number Two: Cluemaster. Fuck you, you stole my bit, and I will be like a plague unto your house. Number Three: King Tut. You also stole my bit, but did it while killing people and got me arrested for murder. Also, I’m, like, 93% sure you’re a white guy and your costume is racist.

“Number Four: The Scarecrow. I know you ate my leftover Chinese, Jon, even though I wrote my name on it. I was saving that for lunch. I had to eat a goddamn peanut butter and jelly sandwich like a five-year-old. It was all you had in the hideout. For fuck’s sake, go shopping, not all of us can live like a bridge troll.

“Number Five: The Penguin. You- No, no, wait, wait… That one should be crossed out. He replaced that and apologized. Never mind, Oswald, you’re fine. Drinks at 7:00 tomorrow, right?

“Anyway, where was…? Ah, yes. Number Six: The Mad Hatter. You carded me and left me like that for six hours because I, and I quote, ‘would not stop talking about Mythbusters.’ Well, excuse me for trying to make intellectually stimulating conversation on a level you could understand. I suppose every time you prattle on about mome raths and borogoves it’s goddamn Shakespeare? Well… Well, it’s Carroll, but… Oh, you know what I mean!

“Number Seven: Catwoman. You left me hanging by one hand from a ledge five stories up and holding a twenty-pound bag of jewels and very pointy  objets d'art while you ‘distracted’ the Dark Knight. I know you were making out with him, Selina. You were gone for fifteen minutes. My shoulder almost dislocated. Very unprofessional.

“Number Eight: Kite Man.”

Here the Riddler pauses, lifting his narrowed gaze to glare at the camera, voice dropping to an ominous tone.

“You know what you did…”

His demeanor shifts quickly, and he’s back to reading from his list almost cheerfully.

“Number Nine! Th-”

He’s interrupted by a crashing noise in the background and looks over his shoulder just an instant before a deep voice angrily growls, “Riddler!”

“Oh, for the love of-” He turns to glare at the camera, speaking quickly. “Number Nine: Batman! Interrupting me while I’m on television making very important- Hm-mmph!”

Batman: Riddler, you’ve hijacked the TV airwaves and you know that’s wrong but I think this is actually theraputic. So I’m giving you five minutes, and then I’m taking you to Arkham

This starts a dialogue with a number of other youtube users who both attempt to answer his riddles and pose their own riddles in return.

“Riddle me this… who’s the biggest asshole in games development this side of Ubisoft? It’s Daniel Mockridge who screwed the dev team, myself included, out of our royalties for Riddle of the Minotaur-”

Two days later Jim Sterling is calling Mockridge out, there’s a gofundme for the other people on the dev team, and Nigma’s halfway to funding the spiritual sequel on Kickstarter.