the most powerful wizard in the aquarium summons his dinner

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@justapassingstranger
the most powerful wizard in the aquarium summons his dinner

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oh
i am tired and i will never be free
I love that opera sits in this limbo where it's extremely well-known but not really beyond a surface level recognition, so you get commercials for makeup or whatever to the tune of the I Hate Women So Much It's Unreal aria
#in the first bridgerton book daphne describes her crush feelings as if her heart is playing the queen of the night aria from the magic flute#which i can totally see if you have never found out what the words mean. very high and fluttery.#but the lyrics are along the lines of THE VENGEANCE OF HELL BOILS IN MY HEART. IF YOU DON'T MURDER THAT MAN I WILL DISOWN YOU.#and i laughed so hard i had to put the book down
via @tophatandboots
oh my god??
@lymeandcoconut
#lmaooooo #my fave is that episode of white collar where neil is doing a theft #and the music they play over it is leporello's 'here's the list of all the hundreds of women my boss has fucked' aria from don giovanni #it's supposed to just sound grand and sophisticated but the guy is singing about how DG fucks tall women short women #fat women skinny women princesses and peasants he fucks them all! #and here's the numbers broken down by nationality! #he's fucked over 1000 women in spain you know!
#oh and he's singing all this to a former conquest who tracked DG down because he promised to marry her then ditched her #anyway it's a lot
Happy Pride Month to all of my fellow aces!! 🖤🩶🤍💜
listen i'm not advocating for exotic animals as pets, but i really just feel like cheetahs are probably different
i feel like we need to give them another shot as housebeasts
this is a critter who wants greenies and then to take a nap on the couch next to me, and i KNOW it
cheetah in House perfec t size for put inside! inside very Soft and Comfort cheetah sleep soundly put cheetah in House. Put Cheetah In House. no problems ever in cheetah in ho use because good Happy and Satisfy for human where sleep. House yes a place for a cheetah put cheetah in house can trust cheetah for giveing good love to humans in house. friend cheetah
I mean, as someone who as worked in a zoo, this is fairly true.
Obvious disclaimer that you shouldn't have wild animals as pets.
But like, cheetahs are the only large cats that keepers will do free contact with. Hell, even most small cats don't get free contact. (Because small cats can be VICIOUS. They'll have a baby pallas cat wearing thicker gloves than when handling an owl. Because small cats can just be vicious.)
Like I think the only other cat at our zoo where I've seen free contact with was servals? Because I know they've used servals in shows to demonstrate their natural jumping ability. But I know servals can sometimes have a mean temper as well. Meanwhile they'll do the cheetah run and afterwards put the mic by the cheetahs and it's just like an engine with them purring. It's fascinating to watch when the message in every other large animal is "no free contact because it's dangerous even when they're born in captivity".
Legit if any wild animal could be adapted to a pet it would be cheetahs lmao. Only problem is they can be skittish and very anxious and that's why they're often raised around dogs in zoos to gain confidence.
congrats, i award you funniest take on this post

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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art by Curtis Lanaghan
what doesn't kill you makes you stay on tumblr for 13 years and counting
Writing would be so much easier if I didn't have youtube or computer games Right There.
"Derin you can get timed apps to block -- " No. I don't want to block them. They're too fun.
Me when I block myself from my games.
and what if I told you guys that virtually everyone you ever meet will turn out to be really interesting if you give them a chance
some real miserable fucks in the notes I fear
I'm not even saying you have to talk to every single person you meet. and you're certainly not going to LIKE all of them. but every person does have a rich interior life and complex feelings and unique worldview. sorry.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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the productivity creatures
GET BACK HERE
looking for fics about your favorite character on ao3 be like:
dont care
dont care
dont care
what the actual fuck
dont care
ooh that sounds- what the fuck
unfinished
don't care
the best fic ive ever read in my life. this absolutely ruined me and ill never be the same ever again
dont care
Reblogging for the absolute brutal accuracy of this comment
And then you're like "fuck it, I'll make my own" and once you've done that you toss it into the goodwill bin to be someone else's prada or container of human teeth
And sometimes you gotta go with the container of human teeth purely out of morbid curiosity.
The container of human teeth is what I was looking for specifically. If you must know.
what does turkish delight taste like and is it worth the events that occurred in chronicle of narnia: the lion the witch and the wardrobe
So the first thing you must understand is that there are two basic types of Turkish delight. The first kind is what most people are familiar with, which are these gelatinous cubes covered in powdered sugar. They are, by most metrics, an acquired taste:
This is usually the stuff people try and say, “Yeah, I don’t get it, Edmund.” But if you go to a good Turkish confectioner (or just any of the bazillion stores that sell it in the Istanbul markets) you’ll see a second kind of Turkish delight, in a rolled shape:
This is the good stuff. The sell-your-soul-and-your-family stuff. It’s nutty and chewy and creamy and comes in all sorts of flavors, and I highly recommend it to anyone. (Especially hazelnut. It’s not a traditional flavor but I’m convinced the White Witch dipped into the future to get some for Edmund, it is that delicious.)
The second thing you need to understand is that the turkish delight was laced with mind-control drugs.
The third thing you need to understand is Edmond was living under WII sugar rationing
still fucks me up what a bad rap coyotes get in peoples eyes. like ive talked to people who see em as like. gross pests who should be culled. theyre literally just as cool as wolves just a lil smaller and less confident. i love them with all my heart to balance out all the coyote haters out there, coyotes rule theyre doing great
imagine having hatred in your heart for this beast
this post was so fucking funny I literally was just like “I like coyotes I think they’re cool” and so many people fucking hated it. Shut up I’m trying. To enjoy animal
The Mural Company

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I actually do feel like the "unemployed friend on a Tuesday" meme actually helps de-stigmatize unemployment because it frequently affirms that when you don't have a job you're more likely to be getting up to some weird shit rather than just lazing around. But I also feel like the unemployed friend is frequently up to some random shit because there's a whole pile of miscellaneous life tasks that full-time employment keeps people from. The unemployed friend is helping their cousin move, or babysitting, or checking in with a neighbor with mobility issues. The unemployed friend is a walking thesis on the inflexibility of our current labor landscape and just how much work exists outside of work.
Dandelions