juno's diary

au where shane still plays hockey and ilya is one of the builders working on his cottage and shane is only there every single day to supervise and make sure he likes how it's all turning out and not at all because he wants to ogle the extremely ripped russian builder who teases him and makes him squirm in just the right way and if said builder ends up staying later than the rest of the crew to eat hotdogs cooked over the fire (since the kitchens not done yet) and talk into the night and maybe ask shane if he wants to come back to his hotel room instead of going home to his parents (where he's been staying during construction) well. nobody has to know in the morning.

my final heated rivalry thought of the night is i do genuinely think it exists in this weird space of requiring you to both be a hockey fan and not know anything about hockey. schrodinger's hockey fan. you need to know about hockey because half the stakes aren't really explained to you at all. see: hockey culture/homophobia. see: the montreal-boston rivalry's unique significance. etc. but you also need to not know anything about hockey because if you do then you look at the long game and go: montreal would not do that. ottawa would also not do that. also why are the 1oa and 2oa going to world juniors twice. why is no one throwing hands at ilya for being that close to their injured captain on the ice.

this but as for the last one (no one throwing hands at Ilya) I actually think it nicely foreshadows what the metros will eventually do to Shane in TLG. Even after watching their CAPTAIN go down, no one on the team shows any sort of reaction except Hayden. Shane was their captain but they did not feel any sense of brotherhood with or protectiveness over him so was it really that surprising they turned on him?

Ilya and Shane’s son brings a girl home and Ilya makes a big production of pretending to be incensed that that his son is straight. (“I told you we never should’ve let him be around Hayden!”) Shane keeps whacking him in the arm telling him to knock it off but can’t help laughing. Their son is just rolling his eyes and apologizing to his girlfriend who is finding it all hysterical. She then tells them she’s actually bi and Ilya gives her a big dramatic hug. “Finally he brings a nice girl home!”

Fine. FINE!!! Yes, the rumours are true: I wanna read a hollanov hazing fic where they get psychosexual with it, but they juuust skirt the boundaries of hockey propriety so they get away with it.

Guys I need fic recs of people being shocked about how much of a freak Shane is.

There’s no way on gods green earth that Ilya didn’t jack off for stamina before fucking Shane for the first time. He was in his hotel room bricked up at the mere thought of what was going to happen that night, of course he’s cumming all over himself in the shower and gritting out ‘fuck, hollander’ aloud to himself in the empty room. and then rocking up to Shane’s fuckpad cool as a cucumber. you big faker. if he hadn’t he would have blown his load 20 seconds after sliding in for the first time.

Shane getting asked what Ilya just said and repeating it also in Russian

I found it! The kissing edit that I’d tried to reblog and then lost. Isn’t it great?