Because I Have a Sh*t Memory

Bothered, out of my lane, being dragged away with a stick

Eleanor: If Eleanor came to Transylvania on a business trip it was definitely a scam on her part to begin with, so her mental transition would be going from “I am scamming this rich old guy” to “Maybe this rich old guy is scamming me?” She’d figure it out, but the question is whether she’d do so before throwing herself headlong into seduction by the vampire brides.

Chidi: On the one hand, Chidi would be desperately trying not to judge Dracula for different cultural customs and be polite to the point of endangering himself. On the other hand, William Jackson Harper said Chidi would have survived Midsommar because he would have bolted the second things started to get weird, so by that logic he might have just frozen in place when the villagers warned him about the castle, panicked about whether it was worse to break his business promises or offend their cultural customs, and not gotten on the carriage.

Tahani: Tahani wants to make a good impression on aristocracy. Tahani is doomed.

卓越したボディコントロール　Σ(ﾟДﾟ) ｽｯｹﾞ! Body control of a horse archer

There aren’t any peaches in the fridge.

I look at my phone in confusion. When I look up, a bot in a cocktail dress is sitting at the kitchen table. She stands and stalks toward me on stiletto heels.

“Diane. Ohio.” She bites her lip. “Aquarius. Diver.” She winks and drops a flower on the floor instead of handing it too me. “Top three percent Only Fans.”

I back away, nearly bumping into the first bot as she steps forward. She raises the peach to her mouth. It’s made of wax. She stares through me as she chews.

I scream as another bot crashes through the kitchen window.

“IDAHO. CAROLINE,” she yells as shards of glass fall from her casual clothes. “GEMINI. REAL ESTATE BROKER.”

Still in my pajamas, I flee the house.