hi
i wasn't going to say anything but life update.
My mental health is probably the worst its ever been. I can't really even take care of myself. im dropping out of university and going back to live with my family, and I'm also hopefully not going on social media again for the forseeable future
University was always fucked. the first year i went i failed half of all my courses. It's gotten better but i realized i can't continue. Trying to switch majors or universities requires grades i just don't have, and i can't do what i wanted to.
Real life sucks and the internet is worse. two years later the shitty drama i was in hasnt left. i dont think it ever will go away. one of the most recent events i found out they were sent the callout by multiple different people. a year and a half after.
Ive really tried a lot to reach out and make friends and groups of people i enjoy but either nothing happens and it fades out immediately or they find out what happened have a bunch of shitty ideas about who i am as a person and then leave.
It's been completely aimless as to why I'm even on here anymore. I've been getting more and more hostile to people, I haven't been doing anything i enjoy. for a while i stayed here because i felt like i could build towards something larger, it would help kickstart something like maybe youtube or game development, but i dont have a future here.
other events have happened which i dont want to get into but in summary everything sucks both online and offline so im removing myself from online to try and gain some amount of sanity back.
it's been so fucking hard lately I've been having a lot of breakdowns which have caused more issues for myself in a positive feedback loop so i need to cut it off.
