If the stars were aligned, we sure weren't looking up.

ancient roman women whose husband keeps looking at the neighbour's boy quintus and he never looks at her that way and she can't even chainsmoke in the kitchen because they don't have marlboro blues in ancient times. and she can't even go to the club because they haven't discovered drum and bass music yet. her friend clodia's having visions of a woman named doechii but neither of them knows what that means

Every pride, you must reblog this. No exceptions

I love that four different people on my feed scheduled this joyous person to reblog by 8am on June 1. I look forward to seeing this a dozen more times today.

not every mutual fits neatly into an archetypal medievalism but there are some mutuals that im like yeah addressing you as “my liege” would come strangely naturally

There is… a lot going on here.

yoooo guys these wings my dad made look INSANE i can’t wait to try them tomorrow

i don’t think you understand i totally thought we were gonna die locked up in this castle but this fucking genius was like “im going to invent a way for humans to fly”. shout out to my dad he’s a real one fr

LMAOOO this dude told me to be careful as he affixed the wings to my back…..dad no offense but you just invented flying and we have to go high enough to avoid the king’s archers. soo

HOOOOLY SHIT YOU GUYS I AM SO AFRAID. THE GROUND IS SO FAR. HOW DO BIRDS DO THIS. OH MY GODS OH MY GODS OH MY GODS

it’s so beautiful up here

i don’t like seeing the ground. i’m going higher

it’s cold and i can’t see anything. not sure if that’s better or worse

by zeus….what is that thing…….it’s as bright as the sun and twice as warm

the gods look truly down on me this day…apollo calls to me from his chariot of fire. a mere mortal. he must think my flight such a wondrous feat

i don’t understand why but he’s coming closer. he is not supposed to stray from his path, lest the sun fall from the sky. why does he look so anguished to see me?

oh. i am in his path

it’s so hot…was it this hard to fly before? maybe i’m tired

the wax

he really does look like the sun…the light emanates from his fingers, his hair, his skin. he means to catch me. i reach for him

his skin burns. i cannot hold on

i slip through his fingers.

it takes a really long time to fall from the sky. longer than i thought

i wonder if he cried for me

i pray to him just in case. i am grateful he tried. my palms are red and cracked from where they touched divinity. the ground does not look any closer than it was

i have not seen my father since we took flight…i hope he escaped. i hope he will not witness this. i wish i could tell him how joyful these wings made me before the wax melted

i do not regret it. i have seen with my own eyes what others will only dream of

i am not afraid

i am not afraid i am not afraid i am not afraid i am not afraid i am afraid i am afraid i am afraid

please please please please please pleaseplease

the gods will not save me. i suppose this is a lesson in hubris. i am forever a flightless thing

please please please i have no coin for the ferryman if i am to die now i will never reach the realm of hades please turn me into a bird any bird or a bug or something anything please please pleasepleaseplease

I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM N

first 5 faceless emojis are how your summers gonna go

As someone who is colourblind this post is fucking hilarious because they are in fact all the same fucking colour

things heating up in the fuckin uuhhhhhhhhh BLUE fandom 

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

Has anyone else noticed recently that when you press the 🅐 Button while in the air you can hardly find the strength to do a Double Jump anymore? Go ahead and try if you want, but it won't work.

Nothing's been the same since she... fuck... I'm sorry... since she... since she left this world. If only I'd remembered that holding and releasing the 🅑 Button would've allowed me perform a powerful Spin Attack. If I hadn't forgotten, she might still be here today. Shit... fuck... I can't handle this anymore, I'm sorry.

There's a Save Point over there. They say if you stand on it and press 🅧 you can save your game. But can any of us really be saved? I don't think so. Not after everything we've done.

Press the 🅜 Button to undo the damage from this War. Oh? There's no 🅜 Button on your Controller? Funny that.

paintedtapestry THIS SCENE

#imagine being a woman reading this for the first time and throwing her bonnet on#racing as fast as she can down the street to pound on her friend’s door#WHAT PAGE ARE YOU ON DEAR HELEN#NEVERMIND I SHALL SIT WITH YOU UNTIL YOU REACH IT#IT IS MOST DIVERTING (via buckyonthelam)

Well, I didn’t see THAT coming.

Still one of my favorite things on the internet. 

get him

SLAAAAAY

Whammo. 😏

Happy 10th anniversary, this epic dunking post.

people will really come into kink spaces and say you can't forcefem women like there wasn't a feature length movie about an elderly gay man forcefemming a woman as part of scheme to thwart an elaborate assassination attempt before the killer even determined their target

What... What movie is this.

i was trying so hard to remember the nonexistent assassination subplot in My Fair Lady

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed