Jim the Viking

steven is a really funny character actually. he never went to school. one of his powers is astral projection for no real reason. hes a musical prodigy. he was so traumatized by the end of the show they had to make an entire epilogue series about it. he spent seven years looking like a 3rd grader. he was even bisexual

he went to the center of the earth. he saved the world in flip flops. he broke his bones every day and didnt even notice. he killed someone

he didn’t have a bellybutton. he actively chose to eat super crispy bits of potato that got left in the deep fryer. he lived in a house but his dad lived in a car within walking distance of his house. he could revive people from the dead. all of his clothes were concert merchandise. he had an outdoor washing machine. he was put on trial for murder. he broke both federal and state child labor laws

The murder he was on trial for was different than the murder he committed

The murder he went on trial for was a murder his mom committed. The victim of the murder was also his mom.

he plead guilty

It looks like a kids show because it is a kids show. All of that stuff is stuff that kids like to see on tv and/or read about.

Posted September 3rd, 2017

Fascinating how what's considered feminine and what's considered masculine can change over time. The rebranding of being a horse girl into being a stereotypical feminine girly trait needs to be studied.

Look at classic children's novels. As recently as the 50s and early 60s, being obsessed with horses as a girl was depicted as strange and tomboyish, and the very concept of being obsessed with horses from early childhood and loving toy horses and desperately wanting your own horse being a "little girl thing" and not a "little boy thing" would send someone from the 1800s and earlier into a coma.

There's maybe a point to be made here somewhere about how when keeping and riding horses stopped being necessary to the functioning of society and became a more "frivolous" thing, it was rapidly rebranded as silly and girly and for women, but what do I know.

heartbreaking: this heated rivalry fic author has no idea how hockey works

warm up doesn't end with them starting the game....

it's alternate captain NOT assistant captain!

there is nothing in the world that a player could do to "break a goalpost" and they also can't "stomp on a puck and split it in half"

NHL teams are not sharing a tunnel!!!!

ILYA ROZANOV AND SHANE HOLLANDER ARE NOT GETTING SENT DOWN TO THE MINORS NO MATTER HOW GAY THEY ARE!!!!

i don't care that it's the all star game they are NOT UP BY SEVEN!!!!!!!!!

THE TEAM CAPTAINS DO NOT RUN PRACTICE THE COACHES DO!!!!!!!

There is no extended break around Christmas!!!!

ROOKIES ARE NOT MAKING "MORE MONEY THAN THEY EVER IMAGINED" BECAUSE 1) THEY DID NOT STUMBLE INTO THE NHL THEY HAVE BEEN DREAMING ABOUT THIS THEIR ENTIRE LIVES 2) ELCs START AT 750K A YEAR, THAT IS A LOT OF MONEY YES, BUT ALSO THAT IS AN IMAGINABLE AMOUNT OF MONEY, EVEN IF THEY GET A CHUNKY FIRST CONTRACT THAT IS STILL AN IMAGINABLE AMOUNT OF MONEY!!!!!

this is a canon nitpick not a how hockey works nitpick, but..... Shane won 2 cups with Montreal, Ilya won 1 cup with Boston, together they have three COMBINED cups, BUT neither Ilya NOR Shane are winning their INDIVIDUAL FOURTH CUP while on the centaurs (unless you've written them already winning a cup while on the cens) because 2+1=3 (Shane) and 1+1=2 (Ilya)

WAGs aren't making posters to hold up at the game.

defensemen are called defensemen because they are the skaters who defend the goal NOT because they are the skaters who take do the fights.

SHANE HOLLANDER AND ILYA ROZANOV DO NOT HAVE ROAD ROOMMATES AT THEIR BIG AGE!!!!!! THE NHLPA BARGANED THAT OUT OF EXISTENCE (except for players on ently level contracts) IN TWENTY FUCKING THIRTEEN!!!!!! this inaccuracy is unforch reinforced by the show and the book which has Ilya rooming with Connors and Shane rooming with Hayden long after their ELCs would've been done. HOWEVER I am choosing to believe that the book and show is NOT inaccurate, but simply that the NHLPA is somehow even more useless in the game changer universe than it is in our universe.

Players from opposing teams are not doing locker room media scrums together!!!!!!!!!!

Neither shane nor ilya nor scott nor troy not hayden nor ryan nor nor nor nor will ever ever and i mean EVERRRRR win SEVEN (7) STANLEY CUPS! That is not happening in this universe, or the game changer universe! that is not how the sport of hockey has worked in DECADES PLURAL!!!!! there are nine (9) players TOTAL who have won seven (7) Stanley cups and the last time any of those bitches won was..... NINETEEN SEVENTY NINE (1979)!!!!!!!!!!!!

weeknight hockey games typically start at 7pm and end at 9:30ish plus showering, media, and commute, Hayden Pike is getting home LONG after his children have gone to bed.

NHL TEAMS ARE NOT DRAFTING GUYS WHO ARE ONLY "OKAY" AT HOCKEY!!!! AND THEY ESPECIALLY AREN'T DOING IT WHEN THEY'RE FIVE FOOT SIX!!! (5'6)

a 6-2 win is neither breathtaking NOR record breaking. that's a normal ass blowout.

general managers are NOT coaches and VICE VERSA (troy ryan is an idiot and should not be looked to for inspiration) coaches don't make trades! and gms don't run practices!!! (NEITHER DO THE CAPTAINS!!!!!)

finding a secular french elementry school in MONTREAL QUEBEC is not a challenge.

12 year old boys know what boners are

defensemen don't take faceoffs

god damn it not even my hockey RPF is safe, read a truly god awful fic and the authors note said like "tehehehe i don't know anything about hockey eveything i know about it i learned from heated rivalry" and like well number 1) i could fucking tell and number 2) why the FUCK ARE YOU WRITING HOCKEY RPF IF YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HOCKEY??? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO THESE MEN ARE??? IT WAS INSANELY OOC SO I'M GUESSING YOU JUST LOOKED AT THE DROP DOWN OF RELATIONSHIPS IN THE HRPF TAG AND PICKED ONE AT RANDOM!!! THIS IS ALMOST (BUT NOT AS BAD) AS WHEN I CAME ACROSS SOMEONE WRITING CJ JACKSON FIC WHO HAD NO IDEA WHO CJ WAS TO THE EXTENT THAT THEY WERE MISGENDERING CJ IN THE FUCKING FIC!!!!

If I see more than 3 lies in the tags the next time I open my notifs reblogs are getting turned off, I do NOT have the energy to be dealing with facts checking you idiots while I am 1000km away from home and using Tumblr on my phone!!!!! This was an “lol so funny vent” post for my mutuals (who are hockey fans) and it has gotten WAY out of hand with a bunch of HR fans writing lies!!! So DON’T lie and ruin it for everyone else. GOT IT???

that is the face of a man worried he will be next

Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.

Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.

crane husband.....

this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.

Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes

the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was

World Heritage Post

I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.

Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe

there are two competing sects on this website - one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "neurodivergent" and one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "sexual content." i do not like either of them

I use spicy to describe food

my food is mentally ill and I’m putting my dick in it

Twilight

FOOD DISCOURSE: reblog with ur opinions on guacamole, olives, mango, hummus, tomatoes, and cannolis

As a college educator, this terrifies me, it's not what I want for my students... but at least this story gives me an avenue to push back on them.

thanks this is part of an even grander incomprehensibleness than I could have expected

I cannot believe that this is a website where you can ask “hey i think i saw a weird image once” and put a bad stick figure drawing of it and someone will be like “oh yeah that’s the first installment of a 12-part post-ironic apocalypse fever dream photoshop series” and just hand you a dozen of the most unhinged images you’ve ever seen in your life, that still have a better three act structure than most modern cinema

As they should be. Can’t make paradise without scrambling a few universes.

Official ominous sign(s)

You definitely don’t get content like this on other webbed sites and apps

It’s crazy that countries on the edge of the Sahara desert are reversing desertification by just digging half circles

Ooooh, Mr. Sawadoga innovated the traditional zai method by adding manure and other biological matter to the holes! This put nutrients in the soil as well as helping even more with water retention and attracted termites whose tunnels helped loosen the compacted earth, all of which supported plant-growth like no zai before! Which increased water-retention even further! Oh excellent, excellent work!