permanence
Lena paces on her balcony, lifting her phone to her ear and taking a deep breath as it begins to ring. She drums her fingers on the railing, listening as her nails clink rhythmically against the smooth metal. The air outside is still warm despite the waning summer, but the breeze that blows by carries the fall on its back, and Lena clutches her sweater a little closer. She isn’t sorry to see this summer end.
Things should have settled, after.
After Nxyly. After William. After Lex.
After being welcomed into a group of friends more wonderful than she’d ever dreamed of, still the uneasiness lingers. It’s a trepidation she can’t quite place, the way her joy catches in her chest when Nia laughs so hard she falls into Lena’s side, or when Esme crawls into her lap with a book she can’t stay awake for. Her life is the best it’s ever been, and yet it claws at her sometimes, like it’s too good, too perfect. It rises up into her throat and as the phone continues to ring in her ear, Lena casts her eyes around, as if looking for proof her world somehow isn’t as peaceful as it seems.
“Lena! Hey!” Kara’s voice comes pouring through the phone, and Lena feels her shoulders relax. “I was actually just about to call you. What’s up?”
It’s funny, Lena thinks then, how the knots in her chest ease around Kara. Her world has always been full of uncertainties, fleeting moments of happiness snatched away when she gets too comfortable. But with Kara, it feels stable, less lonely, like maybe one day she could allow herself to breathe, if Kara’s around.
“Oh yeah?” Lena can’t help but smile, pressing the phone closer to her ear as if it’ll help her absorb some of Kara’s warmth. “I was just going to ask if you wanted to come over for a movie night this weekend, I, um—” Lena pauses, rubbing her free hand over her sternum, “I could use the company.”
“Oh, that’s... kind of why I’m calling, actually,” Kara says, then falters. It’s soft, and it’s hesitant, and Lena’s shoulders sag, but then— “Alex and I are going to Midvale for a few days, and I thought maybe you’d like to come.”
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