wah-wah

I wanted to chillax on the quietest most secluded beach i could find and up rows this garrulous old irishman in his boat for seemingly the sole purpose of having a chat with me. he called me a pommy a bunch of times then asked me my name and when i told him he said “haha that’s an old lady’s name”. which is bang on I can’t even be mad

haven’t gone running for months and I can feel my muscles softening in real time, doing nothing about it. I’m also like massively unfit now. very cool, another thing for me to deal with

I said “no worries” and someone said “hmm that’s very aussie of you” but I don’t think it is I think that’s just english. I won’t be accused of larping

I’ve been buying so many used books because in my mind I’m saving money (?????) I need to get back to my city where the used books market is dogshit because apparently I have no self control around these things

I love when people ask if I’m married or have kids and I have to say no I’m single actually and they go oh ok, doesn’t make me feel like a freak at all

I said idk anything about cricket because I’m a kraut, this old boy then starts telling me about a guy whose batting average was 99, “that means that his batting average was 99 or higher in every innings he played in test cricket” alright boss what’s test cricket

if you ever hear me say anything about moving to australia remind me that I’ve had pressure headaches here like every 3 days

I especially like when the person hating is a talentless hack moron AND they write a scathing review of a writer I dislike. I had a great time with andrea long chu’s review of a little life, for example

trying to find a book club in berlin to expand my horizons or whatever, my only criteria is I want to read novels not theory because I am stupid. I’ve found one that reads romantasy and a few others that all seem to exclusively read books about stalin. what’s the best book about stalin

my impression before going in was that in the common law system the lawyers just dick around until the day before the first day of the hearing, at which point they stay up until 4 am filing everything, and for this excellent service they charge their clients a bazillion dollars. from what I’ve been able to observe, this is absolutely correct

overheard a guy refer to a girl as a “chick” like it’s 2003

it’s crazy that australia is just normal to australians I feel like I’m in bizarro england