my tea bag broke
Guy who is about to give birth to leafs
what the fuck ARE you talking about
i don't do bad sauce passes
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

ā
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@ithappenseverytime
my tea bag broke
Guy who is about to give birth to leafs
what the fuck ARE you talking about

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whats happening gamers
But this is genuinely a shitty act against humanity.
prayer to whichever dead catholic person is most appropriate: may I not have to run a whole week of surprise camps on crutches. in a knee brace.
Im agnostic raised liberal protestant, but absolutely the catholics got saints right. Sometimes your problem is so fucking specific you need Some Guy. If you're listening, Guy of Workers Who Have Strain Injuries,
No fucking WAY, there's actually a knee injury Guy? Catholicism accidentally reinventing the medical specialty system......
I know you're wondering: are there slutty pictures of him revealing his knees?
Saint Roch, by Francesco Ribalta, c. 1625, Museo de Bellas Artes, Valencia
[image id: st. Roch staring soulfully and hiking up his robe to show that his thigh has a bubo on it, also sluttily revealing his knees]
what the dog doin
@egg2k16 with the knowledge
they're trying to get me to do something called ""my job"" instead of reading about medieval english poaching laws

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no rest for me and im not even that wicked ?
i had the best human interaction of all time last night. i was sitting at a bar eating an appetizer and this guy comes up to order a drink and stares at my food and comments how good it looks. when i am drunk i use the word bitch like it is a comma, i plug it into any space in a sentence possible. so naturally the first thing i say to this stranger is, āgo ahead and take one, bitch.ā
he looks SO shocked and taken aback and goes āwhat did you just say? how do you know my name?ā so i sit there for a moment trying to figure out what the fuck he is talking about, and then go, āā¦. bitch?ā and he looks so relieved and tells me his name is mitch.
i cannot stop thinking about this. oh my god. imagine going into a bar and someone you know for a fact youve never met approaches you and says āgo ahead and take one, mitch.ā im cracking the fuck up. he looked like he thought this was the fucking truman show
Obi-Wan is like I got the kids in the divorce. They aren't even my kids. Or my divorce
*sigh* fine, fine, i'll be the new doctor who showrunner. bring me two twinks, britain's tallest woman, and 1000 pounds worth of alumininamian foil
walking down the street and saw someone walking the other direction with a pig in a harness and leash and I stupidly asked, "is that a pig?" and he replied, "I sure hope it is, it was a pig when I left the house"

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Honestly? It drives me crazy that people will see Dooku at his worst, his most heartbroken, his most manipulated, his most isolated, and be like "oh man! this dude saw what was wrong with the jedi!"
like I think that man would give anything to be 12 again and having tea with his Master actually
9 out of 10 times I see people on here celebrating a new "landmark piece of anti-AI legislation" the legislation in question is inevitably some variation of "we propose making IP laws more restrictive but presented through the language of opposing AI". But that one from germany about holding google liable for the words of its AI overview feature is legitimately good I think. If they actively choose to shove that thing in everyone's face as the first thing they're going to see when they make a google search then they shouldn't be able to dodge accountability for the information it provides with a little "gemini AI can be inaccurate, please remember to double-check information teeheehee" disclaimer.
"This is Ankh-Morpork, you know. We've got extra pronouns here."
GNU Terry Pratchett
The full quote is fascinating though, and adds an interesting context as it's Angua (a werewolf) and Carrot (human, but raised by dwarves) discussing a dwarf colleague, Cheery.
"Female? He told you he was female?" "She," Angua corrected. "This is Ankh-Morpork, you know. We've got extra pronouns here." She could smell his bewilderment... "Well, I would have though she'd have the decency to keep it to herself," Carrot said finally. "I don't think it's very clever, you know, to go around drawing attention to the fact." "Carrot, I think you might have something wrong with your head," said Angua. "What?" "I think you might have it stuck up your bum."
Sir Terry Pratchett - "Feet of Clay"
This is CARROT being the asshole. Carrot who has, throughout all the prior books, been depicted as basically the best of all possible people. He is noble, brave, considerate, kind. He is the good guy in the entire City...
... and yet, he grew up dwarf, and has picked up their more conservative views on gender identity.
Discworld dwarves start out in the books as basically a people without visible gender differences (thanks to the woman growing beards just like the men) and using "he/him" pronouns as their default. Anything else is seen as breaking the most basic of social conventions. (Dwarf dating is described early on as being two dwarves who like each other spending an inordinately long time trying to find out, as tactfully as possible, what gender the other dwarf is)
Carrot does immediately adopt the "she" pronoun for Cheery, which is but wishes she didn't make such a fuss about it. He's prepared to tolerate her choices, but he doesn't APPROVE of them, and thinks that that is enough.
Carrot, because he IS Carrot, does learn to open his mind on this subject, perhaps his final frontier of bias, but I do love that it's addressed as something he has to work on, and succeed.
And to Terry Pratchett's credit what started out as a throwaway joke about dwarf sex, gradually becomes a multi-volume subplot which is a fascinating exploration of gender and social identity as more dwarves start to "come out" as being female, and not just identifying as female, but changing their form of dress to something which matches who they are (they keep their beards though, because to a dwarf, that has nothing to do with gender, and everything to do with being a dwarf) and how their society has to adjust, with differing levels of comfort, to this new reality.
Carrot was also prejudiced against the undead early on as well. And the fact that he unlearns these views is a good example of a common theme in Pratchett's work
The overwhelming theme of Pratchett's work is change. Not good vs evil but progress vs stasis/going backwards. The protagonists of Pratchett's stories are people who can take on board new ideas and change and grow and adapt. Some of them start out as very stupid people with very stupid views in fact until they learn and grow and improve. The villains on the other hand are people who desperately want things to either stay the same or regress back to some imagined "Good old days" that they prefer.
While we're talking about Terry Pratchett gender, there's also golems, who are basically lumps of clay that have been brought to life but don't actually have any gender or secondary sexual characteristics so everyone defaults to male and he/him. As the books story goes on some of them decide to try being women just because.
Feet of Clay came out in 1996. I cannot overstate how pronoun discourse wasn't anywhere on the radar then. I'm fairly terminally online, active in fandom, and the first I can remember is some timid discussion of neopronouns in the mid-2000s, where "how could you tell other people to use them for you" was a major puzzle. (I still love neopronouns - zie/hir appeals to me in a way they distinctly doesn't, genderfluid though I am.)
ALSO also also
1) I don't have the book to hand, but when Cheery comes out she changes her name to Cheri, because "sometimes, when you shout who you are to the whole world, you need to do it quietly." It's such a beautiful expression of coming out being a process, and one that needn't be undertaken all at once.
2) Pterry had the best goyische take I've ever seen on golems, and I will die on that hill. It's not perfect, but it is really well-done, and it was done with respect, and to me that might be even more important than perfection.
I had the book to hand because I reread it recently. The quote goes:
When you've made up your mind to shout out who you are to the world, it's a relief to know that you can do it in a whisper.
THERE we go.
if an archaeologist says an artifact was probably forĀ āritual purposesā it meansĀ āi have no fuckin clueā
but if they say it was forĀ āfertility ritualsā they meanĀ āi know exactly what it was for but i dont want to sayĀ āancient dildoāā
Back in the day I worked at a certain very famous and very high caste art museum in the US as a junior curator. Part of my job was to catalog the objects in the museum database. This includes details like provenance, measurements, and a visual description of what the object looked like.
Like I said, the museum was a pretty snotty institution. Itās got a LOT of objects itās way famous for possessing, but nobody knew about the absolutely massive collection of Moche erotic pottery it had because the curators were totally embarrassed by this stuff.
Some examples:
Pretty hot shit, right? They never, ever put any of this stuff on public view or published it in any catalogues but - we legit had like several hundred pieces of Moche ceramics in theĀ ādirty potsā category. Anyway, I was left alone to just do my job with regard to the database for several years, ok? And I figured, well, theseāre accessioned objects in the museumās collection - better get down to bidness.Ā
I catalogued every goddamn bestiality, necrophiliac, cocksucking, buttfucking, detached penis, and giant vulva drinking cup in that collection. Iād be like,Ā
A drinking vessel in form of a standing man wearing a tunic and cap. He holds an oversized erection in his hands and stares into the distance (note I did not say ālike heās hella-constipatedā). The vessel has a hole at both the tip of the penis as well as around the rim of the figureās head, thus forcing the drinker to drink only from the penis or risk spilling wine all over themselves from the top of the vessel. Red and orange slip covers the surface of the piece.
Pretty straightforward, right? Apparently the deep seated fear of these objects that the curators exhibited was meant to spread to me as well, but - no one ever gave me that memo, because I guess Midwesterners reproduce asexually. When the curators understood that I had catalogued all of these objects in addition to the other, non-sexy pieces in the collection, they were apparently livid, but knew they had no legs to stand on in terms of getting pissed at me for it.Ā
I visited the museumās online public access database a few years back and - every single description I wrote of these pieces has been totally neutered to say something like Male figural vase.Ā
Long story short? Just call a dildo a fucking dildo. Itās all gonna be ok, I swear.
This is absolutely the MOST unusual reblog I have ever tagged with what is probably my second-favorite tag, ātalk to me about your work.ā
Plus itās hilarious.
I love ancient art history !!!!!
@lowercasetrashwriter
Museums should have sections dedicated to artifacts like these with a warning that says āThereās a lot of private parts in here but weāre dedicated to displaying history so we wonāt censor these. Enter at your own riskā or something. Itās prudish to deliberately hide history because of some ding dongs.
Fucking Puritanism.
Unpopular opinion: Sex exists. Making body parts taboo is both psychologically bad for us and kinda stupid.
People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person
Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs

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3 hours of sleep = i hate people who laugh
0 ours of sleep = waouw š¼š¼š¼š¼š
we all need to take better care of our selfs or we might Pass away
GLaDOS voice: "Would you like to see some artwork I generated? I've heard from other test subjects that AI-generated artwork produces an uncanny valley response in human viewers because they can't perceive it as fully real. They've told me that it looks absolutely hideous to them, that they can't imagine anything more disgusting than AI art. But, well I've been practicing and wanted your honest opinion. Feel free to let me know how ugly you find this by ranking it on a scale from 'vomit-inducing' to 'eye-bleeding'." A robotic arm lowers from the ceiling holding a hand mirror up to Chell's face