Everything I Love Is Canceled

If you go without it you feel unwell in a way that you never usually feel unwell. Sweating, tired, sleepy, headaches, irritable, depressed, etc. For example when I was in opium withdrawal I got incredibly depressed in a way that I’ve never been before or since. When you quit caffeine you might get super bad headaches even if you never usually get any headaches.

Thoughts of it regularly bother you and the thoughts go away once you’ve taken it but only temporarily. Unlike with a food craving which usually stays away once you’ve satisfied it or distracted yourself from it.

You find yourself rationalizing with yourself why you should break your own rules about how much you can take and how often. For example you might only let yourself drink alcohol every four days but start thinking that three days is actually close enough to four days, right? Especially if this happens regularly.

You’re using it so often that you feel the need to lie about how much you use because other people might think it’s concerning

If the substance or activity is nearby it’s genuinely difficult to not consume it or participate in it in a way that’s really frustrating.

You feel bad when you’re not on it and your brain tells you “if you just take the thing you wouldn’t feel this way”

You can only feel “whole” or “normal” when you’re on a substance even though it’s a recreational drug

Then one year at Easter something went wrong and the chocolate separated and the mousse was weird looking and a bit odd tasting (not inedible, just odd) and my cousin (who was only about 12 to be fair) ate his bowl while loudly proclaiming MY GOD THIS IS NOT GOOD AUNTIE D and WHAT DID YOU DO and THIS IS HORRIBLE and on the one hand we all laughed (inc mum) because it was so unfiltered and rude and he kept eating it even as he proclaimed it an abomination, and 20ish years later we still have a laugh about it.

But mum never made mousse for a family event again and didn’t even want to do it just for us kids or dad. She was really embarrassed and she lost her confidence.

My cousin didn’t need to say it. Mum knew it hadn’t turned out right. She brought it anyway because we’d told her she should and she didn’t want to disappoint anyone because this was so looked forward to by everyone. Maybe he was only 12 and didn’t know how to have any tact.

PLEASE CONSIDER THIS before you provide your ‘feedback’ on fanworks. You could be the reason some poor person never makes anything again, or at least never shares it with the community. Don’t whatabout the people who invite concrit me - just fucking have a think before you comment, okay?

What we have told them from a young age is if they are served food they don't like to eat what they can and that we will get them more food later. If asked if they don't like it we taught them to say "I appreciate it, but it's not really to my personal taste" or "I'm just not very hungry, but thank you!"

So today I tripped. Fell flat on my face, it was awful but ultimately harmless. My service dog, however, is trained to go get an adult if I have a seizure, and he assumed this was a seizure (were training him to do more to care for me, but we didn’t learn I had epilepsy until a year after we got him)

I went after him after I had dusten off my jeans and my ego, and I found him trying to get the attention of a very annoyed woman. She was swatting him away and telling him to go away. So I feel like I need to make this heads up

If a service dog without a person approaches you, it means the person is down and in need of help

I honestly didn’t know that I was supposed to follow a service dog in a vest if it approached me by itself.

I do now.

So do you.

Sexual intrusive thoughts don’t make you gross

Violent intrusive thoughts don’t make you evil

Your thoughts do not reflect your desires

Things will get better. You will heal

[Image description: Text post by accessibleaesthetics. It reads:

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but intrusive thoughts are basically your brain’s (sometimes very upsetting) way of saying “If there were two guys on the moon and one of them killed the other with a rock would that be fucked up or what?”

I’ve personally found that adding the “would that be fucked up or what?” part in myself really helps put the more disturbing thoughts we sometimes get into perspective. Helps me say “yeah that sure would be fucked up” and move on with my day.

It’s not a secret desire, it’s not something that only occurs to you because you’re a bad person. It’s just your brain deciding to process the fact that it knows an uncomfortable thing exists in the world by feeding it to you in an absurd “what if” with you as the main character.