Lithromantic!

friendship and romance are relationships. none is better than the other. they are different things. they are two different types of relationship. one is not the other "but better". A FRIENDSHIP DOESN'T NEED TO BECOME "MORE" FOR CERTAIN ACTIONS. YOU CAN PLATONICALLY FUCK. IT'S BEEN DONE. YOU CAN KISS YOUR FRIENDS. IF EVERYTHING IS CONSENSUAL IT'S FINE. FRIENDSHIP DOESN'T NEED TO BE "ELEVATED" FOR CERTAIN ACTIONS TO TAKE PLACE.

Aro Joy, 1/1 - it’s almost AUTUMN!!!! 🍁🎃🧣 ✨ (and I’m very excited lol, early fall is one of my favourite times of year 😂). Ok but back on topic - I’ve actually had a vision for this specific comic for … a while 😭 Like, half a year ago. It’s been a journey, accepting my arospec identity (and from what I’ve heard talking to y’all, it’s been like this for many of you too), and though I’ve been open about the bumpier parts of the experience, I wanted to also talk about the positives, all the joys of being aro, too 💚💚🐸

As a general disclaimer: The sentiments here aren’t meant to speak for all aros - because some aros want to be in romantic relationships (or be otherwise partnered), and of course this is equally valid and should be respected! And on the same note, allos can be happy with being, or just want to be single, because again - this isn’t something defined by orientation.

But I think for a lot of us, our arospec orientation can be tied to how feel about our lives in relation to partnership … which is that, we’re okay (or happy) being single! For the longest time, I held it against myself that I wasn’t in a relationship, but not because I wanted to be in one - I just thought it was a milestone that would make other people think of me as a ‘real’ adult 😭😭 Realizing I was aro gave me the opportunity to reassess how I viewed myself, and my relationships with other people. I was able to actually let go of that idea of having a “””missing piece”””, and appreciate everyone and everything I have in my life. I sound kinda cheesy saying this, but for the first time, I think I have everything I’ve ever wanted, relationships wise? I’m at peace, and I really appreciate it.

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School’s gonna start soon for me and for some of y'all, so I hope that goes well for everyone! Please take care, and as always I’d love to hear what you think! What are your favourite things about being aro? 🐸

[Image Descriptions:

Slide 1: “I find it fascinating, the way alloromantics value romance.” Celia stands outside in front on a vibrant fall day. She seems to be on a walk on a trail.

Behind her, the leaves are a bright orange, and she is wearing a white wrapped top, jeans, and an orange ribbon choker.

Slide 2: “When I bring up the fact -”

A flashback to an earlier time, where Celia is talking to another girl (who is alloro). Celia says “You know, life without Romance is not inherently bad, or unfulfilling -” 

The other girls says, “yeah, but it’s DIFFERENT.”

Slide 3: [Pure text] There’s this really deep, engrained idea, even amongst people who are accepting and understanding of the idea that being aromantic is valid, that romance brings a new level of joy to life. A kind of special fulfillment they would be lost without.

Slide 4: “And I’ve got to say …” Celia speaks to the viewer.

Slide 5: “That sounds really hard, yikes” She shrugs nonchalantly.  

Slide 6: Celia speaks from the bottom of the panel, and a big speech bubble says, “People seem to have such a hard time with dating? Pining? Trying to court people? (I actually do not know much about romance, despite my love of the genre) It just seems like so much work, just to feel fulfilled.”

Extra doodles of character struggle with online dating, pining with writing love letters, and dollar bills with a rose exemplify the various struggles mentioned.

Slide 7: Shot switches back to Celia in the forest. She’s now holding a maple leaf in her hand, staring down at it contemplatively as she speaks. “I’m … actually feeling pretty good about my life.”

Slide 8: She holds the leaf up to the light now. “I don’t really feel like there’s something missing without a partner. Although, maybe one day -” In the bottom half of the panel, the perspective switches to her POV centered on her hand with the illuminated leaf, “I’d also be happy with a QPR.”

Slide 9: It’s one of the things that makes me grateful that I’m aro.

Can we please start giving some love to aroallo

Panel 1: a person wearing a collared shirt under a sweater with several earrings. They have short wavy hair and look angry or annoyed. Their hands are raised to just above shoulder height in no particular position. Speech bubble reads: “Aroallo are a valid and important part of our community.”

Panel 2: a person wearing a black camisole tank top over a light long-sleeved sweater/shirt. They have large hoop earrings and bangs and shoulder-length hair that curls in toward their chin. They also look angry or frustrated and have their hands in the air in an exaggerated shrug. Speech bubble reads: “Yes, even if they’re only looking for sex. They are not heartless player.”

Panel 3: a person wearing a dark spaghetti-strap tank top and large round glasses. They have a relatively short afro. They look mildly displeased and have their hands up similarly to the person in panel 1. Speech bubble reads: “Seriously we need to stop treating them the way we do, they deserve so much better.”

And like honestly my advice is: if you think you might be aro, it doesn’t hurt anything to id as aro. If later you realize that you’re not, no harm done, glad you could hang with us for a while, good luck with your identity.

Being wrong about who you think u are is fine, there’s literally nothing wrong with it.

I didn’t id as aro for a while bc i was worried about being wrong, but then one day i just said fuck it, I’m aro, and i never looked back. Honestly great move by me bc i was finally able to allow myself to participate fully in the community and i realized that i really related to what other aros experience too

Amatonormativity: the (cultural) belief that a monogamous romantic-sexual relationship needs to be central to everyone‘s personal happiness

Allonormativity: the belief that every person is allosexual and alloromantic, experiencing sexual and romantic attraction

Heteronormativity: the (cultural) belief that a monogamous romantic-sexual relationship being “hetero” is more desirable than a queer/non-hetero one; also leading to the assumption any non-hetero relationship desires/has to imitate “hetero”