I Am Become Death

Somewhere in the world, there is a tree that sprouted the same day you were born and has been growing along with you.

also i feel like people who became parents right out of highschool are completely unable to understand what priorities a childless adult might have since theyve never been one...... like i will never be grateful for 20 hours of overtime bcs i have no one to provide for and id rather spend the time with my friends and family.... i dont care about dating "up" economically because i want a partner whos hot and fun not a father to provide for kids... theres nothing irresponsible about me going out a lot and spending money on myself because like. no one depends on me. theres no reason for me to live in a neighborhood with good schools. my priority is to have a good time. theyre like "my favorite thing to cook is crockpot chicken pasta because my husband and kids eat it and the prep is quick" cool my favorite thing to cook is moussaka with homemade flatbread because its fun and i can spend as much time on it as i want without a toddler to watch.

a lot of the time they also are weirdly condescending and treat me like im super immature, naïve and irresponsible (even though at my age they were a married mom of three) because in their minds, since they skipped straight from child to parent, those are the only two options and since im not the latter i must be the former. they have no concept of adulthood without parenthood so they think of my maturity level as being what theirs was before kids.. older parents tend to treat me more as a peer because theyre able to understand adulthood and parenthood/marriage as separate concepts.

things the kittens have so far yelled at me about with the righteous indignation of child monarchs:  - i could not find my brother for 1.3 seconds  - my brother bit my ears when i pounced on him - my brother refused to bite my ears even though I pounced on him - my brother has carried away the little mouse toy but I wanted to carry away the little mouse toy - want to lie in lap but no room  - want to lie in lap but am on floor - want to lie in lap but it is too warm in lap - too small to jump on table - too large to get behind washing machine as is my sacred right - i am being prevented from drinking the coffee, a substance which would do me grievous harm - you are not letting me lick the inside of your nostrils - i am too small to headbutt you with enough force to adequately represent my affection

windshield wiper

hey guys idk if you know this but if you don't sleep or eat your mental health gets worse

This hack will save your teeth: there are no “right” and “wrong” times to brush your teeth.

You’re such a lil weirdo (lovingly)

gay people be like. hands.

loading screens are for video games. if your vision goes dark when you stand up, you need a tilt table test.

you are not a charmander. if showering makes you feel tired, dizzy, or faint, you need a tilt table test.

Ok but seriously before you push for a tilt table test check that you're not dehydrated because that's the more likely cause.

This can actually help people find out if they have co-current health issues like autoimmune disorders...... Telling people to just drink water, lose weight, or exercise is weak medicine and indicative of a doctor who does not care. You will not convince me otherwise. 

i always wonder who i would’ve been if i wasn’t traumatized. imagine where i would be

remember when you were 10 and you would hang out with your friends in order to Look At The Computer together like you went to their house and experienced the information superhighway together. and then leave

How fucking old are you people?

normal amount