u can be boiling alive in your mind for months and then on a random tuesday ur head gets so clear and life is worth living again and you're like damn what was all that about then

you literally just have to go outside.

Not enough people talking about how well broccoli holds a sauce

"unbecoming" is such a great word. bro that shit was so rude you no longer Are

hopefully i'll get to do something other than endure soon. that would be really nice

humans should be able to do a special Ultra Sleep after major life accomplishments where you're just out for like 32 hours or something and then you wake up fully refreshed in every way

I’m getting ads telling me to replace live porch flowers with plastic ones because the plastic ones don’t die and buddy I can tell you from personal experience that those flowers will fade until they look like they’ve achieved a new kind of death