BAD BAD DOG

hi im fox

i don’t know if you remember me. i can’t even remember what name i went by as an anon, but i used to send asks back in late 2021 to early 2022. i was absolutely going through it and in active psychosis. i just graduated college now, got a full time, well paying job, moving to a different state and starting life fresh all over again. i’ve been in therapy and on life saving medications for a few years now. at some point i fit the criteria for borderline, but i no longer am considered for it because of how much i’ve improved. long story short, things do get better with time. things get better. it gets better. it might take a long long while but they do. thank you for always being there fox ♡

You know what. You're right. Things do get better.

Hey idk if it sounds rude but lowkey you seem like the best person to vent to about this. Im endlessly terrified of my friends getting into relationships. I suffer with a crippling fear of abandonment already. And im worried that all my friends will leave me and will be hurt and be abused the same ways i was. im scared of them returning as shells of themselves. I watched my mother get abused by my father and i was nearly killed at 15 by my ex and im a csa survivor too.

Finding out a software dev company I almost got pulled into indentured servitude for is a trafficking ring and it all makes so much more sense how hellish the onboarding training was. I had to wake up at 4am in my timezone almost every day for 2 months (it would’ve been 3 if I hadn’t gotten hired somewhere else) and to rub in the salt, my white ex at the time went “at least you’re hireable” as if being disabled makes a person immune to being trafficked. Even after all of this I’m not sure if I can call myself a trafficking survivor because the training was remote although I had to sign a relocation agreement for if I had finished the training.

Can i use this drawing (https://www.tumblr.com/traumatizeddfox/770444998222217216/devour?source=share) in a.. collage thing (not a collage, but, like.. I can't think of any better word to describe it) im making? (ill credit you obvi!!)

Do you think, anything or me or even life will get better? Also idk why but now I finished my degree and searching for jobs makes me relapsed? As if i can't distract myself anymore or keep myself busy to ignore... i just wish things gets better ... do you think it will?