A fiddle of gold against your soul.

whats everyones favorite cocktails. i totally adore a sex on the beach. no rum and coke okay i want your favorite gay ass colorful fruity tasting type of drink okay? okay. i trust you. i love you

a deer is like a forest horse if you think about it

Why suffer ennui when you can get a bánh mì

i love poison omelette

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got some kick to it i tell you what

ok guys but imagine how hard it's gonna hit if something good ever happens again

I hate when king arthur has all these fussy little steps in the instructions and you're like "no way do these fussy little steps matter" but you try it and they do. they matter so much.

I thought you meant Camelot quests and I was like "that's fair, 'never pick a four leaf clover on the last Wednesday of the month' IS a fussy little step that shouldn't matter" but then I was like "wait isn't that also a flour company"

nooo I am not a beleaguered knight of the round table I am making elaborate focaccia 😭

let's all go to tumblr and order the deformed erotic visage. the look on the mod's face will be an ecstatic contortion

"Give us your government-issued ID to access our app's full features" babydoll you are text messages.