A fiddle of gold against your soul.

sorry america but you’ve been really mean. and I don’t want to go to your birthday party in two days

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

no piece of supernatural commentary will ever be as impactful as ‘what happened to all the pussy on supernatural’

plutonic lesbian friends (that do nothing for me)

trying to bed a knight like: *unbuttons your jupon* *unbuckles your cuirass* *unbuckles your gorget* *takes off your hauberk* *stops to catch my breath* *unbuttons your gambeson* *takes off your shirt*

I don’t know what we did to deserve Mr. Rogers but I’m so glad we had him. 

@jared-wormsboy i am crying uncontrollably

I reference this in conversation sometimes assuming everyone knows about the Owl Attack Sex Playlist and i look fucking unhinged

remember when linguini brought a rat he found back to his apartment and got all embarrassed and was like it’s not much. to the rat

Justin: Are we out of the zone of truth? Griffin: Yeah, yeah. You’re far away from it. Taako: Everything’s gonna be fine.