ilien

18th century famous people be like: George was born the oldest of 36 children. His father was a shoe farmer and Grand Piano. At just 2 days old, he began his study of medicine and human biology at Oxford fortunately studying under Shakespeare in Berlin, Austria. Shortly after, he conducted his first successful heart transplant at 1.3 years old. He soon became an ordained priest. By the age of 4, he had married his cousin and had 5 children named Emma, all of whom became minstrels except for one who actually turned out to be Charles Dickens. By the end of his career at 28 years old he had written 11,000 books about Julius Caesar which he made into comedic plays and became a world class harmonica, guitar, and spoon player. He died of tripping on his own foot or lead poisoning at 30

goodbye $200 helloooo 3 groceries

what a beautiful time of year everyone is growing veegtables for me spacifically, one problem though you need to make fences shorter im sure its a mistake but i cant reach some of them

hello imptortant message from deer youyr doing it agen. i cant eet the vegbals you are growing for me like this

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

yeah yeah rainbow capitalism is bad and whatever but like. when I was a child, being pro gay was not the popular or lucrative choice. I'm happy that times have changed.

I miss rainbow capitalism. I do. I miss when it felt like public opinion was still pro gay. I understand it was always an empty gesture, but it mattered in a sense of knowing how socially acceptable being queer is. If that makes sense.

I feel called out. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 But I want to try being as accurate as possible.

#This is the representation I’ve been looking for

food doesn’t actually “go bad”, it just gets eaten by something else first

This is part of my Ancient Civilizations class that I teach, which does a whole week about Australia and the Torres Strait Islands because I was sick of never seeing them represented in USAmerican history contexts. With the help of @micewithknives and @acearchaeologist I've learned so many incredible things about Australia's past and it's been incredibly rewarding to share them with students.

one of the surviving CombatUnits while they're busy helping each other strap gagged and unconscious supervisors to their backs so as to get around the governor module: ...if we moved to Preservation, do you think we could get a book deal?

they probably don't let their MIs determine their own functions as they develop. but i'm imagining PSUMNT's machine intelligence program going through enough mishaps one year that it accidentally produces a bot that yearns to be a casino

the Crescendo was still in its infancy the year researchers convinced Perihelion's SecUnit to visit the crèche, during which said visitor was (allegedy) (you can't prove shit) (youll be hearing from my solicitor) also watching media about high stakes gambling. but who can say

man y’all remember when the avengers movie came out and everyone headcanoned that all the avengers would live together in the tower and had all these cute posts about various fun ways they could interact and then the movies literally never had any of them even be friends

GHHFDGJHFDS THATS EVEN FUNNIER WHY IS MARVEL LIKE THIS

Sometimes I think that I’m moderately intelligent and then I realize how frequently I’m deceived by things meant to fool wild animals

being mildly nearsighted keeps me humble