Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory

one of us always eat hot chip and the other one always lies

every political scandal has to be called ____gate now because 54 years ago a guy named blowjob told reporters there were bugs in the democrat offices

I firmly believe what ever you’re obsessed with at 11/12 years old becomes a core part of who you are, regardless if you lose interest in it or not. Maybe some of you were lucky and were obsessed with warrior cats or smth, and if you’re real unlucky it was probably twilight.

do u think i can go for a run today or is that something only normal people are allowed to do

weird animals run all the time dude

im going to go for a scamper and scare everyone

all my haters become alligators in the bayou of success

you can have multiple most gorgeous looking women giving performance of their lifetime in a movie or show yet people will still come out obsessing & wanting to fuck a white man with the personality of a wet cardboard

i could not eat a dozen fried eggs and would never want to do so. but i almost certainly could accidentally eat a dozen deviled eggs if i was at a party or perhaps a picnic and they were there. they are a highly dangerous food item in this way

The devil's greatest trick was convincing the world he doesn't exist. His second greatest trick was that egg thing hoo boy those are good