iHumour

oh to be at an irish pub right now

Is there anything more nauseating than ‘expensive heterosexual wedding’ culture?

My dream wedding: outside, illegal fireworks, shoes are optional, mostly potluck, someone’s dressed as a wizard, I get to insult my relatives, hopefully some live music.

Reblogging for every single part of this

Remember when Gollum told Sam to give it to him raw

a 5’7” white boy has been reported doing wall pushups outside a 7/11

now something bad is happening

jesus christ

he falled down

one time in high school my french teacher told the class that his grandmother died and a kid in the class said “je regrette :(“ and the french teacher burst out laughing and was like “you’re gonna wanna say desolé in this context because je regrette means like…. my bad”

i m glad i can mute during class bc the entire time i was taking notes i was snickering and saying “Smell that?” out loud to myself

every tim burton character looks like they’re deficient in every single vitamin

what if mario and garfield come out and chris pratt does a PERFECT spot-on impression for both of them. what would society do? would the italians finally accept him?

Garfield would become canonically Italian

And then it becomes part of the environment, That’s Just Where it Lives, until a bout of cleaning hyperfixation where you have to concentrate really hard on The Thing and the curse is broken.

The pillow has been behind the radiator for a solid two months

this is exactly what its like and i dont fucking know how to explain this to neurotypicals in a way theyll understand

Keep seeing pronoun positivity posts is about he/they and she/theys. That's cool and all but this one's for the she/hes. If you're a she/he I love you and you can take as much mint as you want from our garden

Is this a positivity post or a secret cry for help? OP, how bad is the mint situation?

It's both the mint situation is fucking severe

Six-year-old me trying to make inanimate objects move with my mind after watching Matilda