come along, pond

did i ever tell you guys that in the mid 2010s there were a couple blogs that were talking shit about me and trying to cancel me for stupid fandom bullshit (I had a porn blog and I shipped billford oh nooo) and I had them blocked but sometimes I couldn't help ragebaiting myself and checking their blogs anyway to see what they were saying. so I used a browser extension to redirect their tumblr urls to crouton.net. and sometimes i would forget and be like "oouugh lemme see what those little shits are saying now" only to be brought to crouton.net instead. it immediately dissolved any anger or curiosity i had about what someone was talking shit about me. I was instead like "oh, crouton. thats right...looking at that stuff isnt good for me. thanks crouton" like it probably actually saved my mental health in college tbh

I kind of miss the impulsivity that certain spaces used to allow. oh you want a hair cut today? hairdresser in the corner can fit you in before her 2 o’clock. tattoo of a cobra… sure leg or arm? even concerts, back when you could go to the box office thirty mins before any show. not saying these things don’t exist at all, but everything feels booked five months in advance and 10x more expensive

the circus is empty, all of the monkeys are here

day two sober im moving objects with my mind

Remember when joining fandom as a younger person meant lurking for a bit and figuring out the vibe and etiquette instead of coming in on day one and calling people weirdos for liking weirdo shit in the weirdo factory.

I have already died thrice by 1pm

dude im not even horny i am just filled with a inhuman hunger

nice wound. Could use some salt though

GLaDOS voice: "Would you like to see some artwork I generated? I've heard from other test subjects that AI-generated artwork produces an uncanny valley response in human viewers because they can't perceive it as fully real. They've told me that it looks absolutely hideous to them, that they can't imagine anything more disgusting than AI art. But, well I've been practicing and wanted your honest opinion. Feel free to let me know how ugly you find this by ranking it on a scale from 'vomit-inducing' to 'eye-bleeding'." A robotic arm lowers from the ceiling holding a hand mirror up to Chell's face

a 500 word short story with the same plot as your novel that explores how quickly the problem could be solved by sonic the hedgehog

sonic heritage post

I’ve never seen this one before and it just punched me in the fucking face.

Just like Knuckles did to Sonic

quirky fourth wall breaking character but theyre just fucking. wrong about the medium theyre in. they keep making references to cinematic techniques and directorial styles and the other fourth wall breaking character is like "dumbass we're in a fucking comic book" and they are in a video game.

Well currently they’re in a tumblr post but I see your point

we're actually in a youtube video if this turns out to be funny enough

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

Taylor Swift does this

no she doesn’t

You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.

#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic

i went to queer history and signaling and i didnt see taylor swift

do you guys remember having hopes and dreams

ok idk why this is breaking containment but to be clear this post is about Game 3 of the 2026 Stanley Cup Western Conference Finals where the Colorado Avalanche were up 3-0 against the Vegas Golden Knights after the first period and then managed to lose the game 3-5. I do see how it could be interpreted as being about the general disillusionment of adulthood but I was actually talking about ice hockey

Youtube please stop showing me shorts of that guy who eats pizza with a frankly horrifying amount of pepperoni on it, I'm getting chest pains just looking at it