you’re on your own kid

@murdockoclock: ZOWEEEE MAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!! @murdockoclock: also omg dog :)

@murdockoclock: CONGRATS! you've been ADOPTED!!!!!

@murdockoclock: LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THESE ON YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @murdockoclock: you look so cool and so iconic i am going to spin on the spot 43 times!!!!!!!!

@murdockoclock: omg wow

@murdockoclock: @leomurdock i have no idea what’s happening but i stand with you!!!!

@murdockoclock: I LOVE MY FLOWERS SO MUCH THEY MADE ME SMILE SO BIG AND I KNOW YOU KNOW THIS BECAUSE YOU SAW ME BECAUSE YOU GAVE THEM TO ME BUT I WANT TO REMIND YOU NOW THAT YOU'RE NOT BESIDE ME (☹️) THAT I AM HAPPY AND I AM LOVED AND I LOVE YOU BACK AND YOU ARE THE SUN AND ALSO THE MOON AND ALSO ALL OF THE STARS AND YOU ARE BASICALLY THE ROCKY TO MY RYLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @murdockoclock: wait sorry maybe i'm the rocky @murdockoclock: IDK THAT'S REALLY NOT THE POINT

@fizzybank: my pookie wookie gumdrop bear!!! there has never been another person on earth who has said such words, written so eloquently, handled a quill so well, all while serving with glasses that not a being in the cosmos could wear with the same flair and whimsy as you!!!! but maybe that should be the last time we drink on a wednesday

@murdockoclock: @fizzybank MAYBE TRUE YES but also what about a thursday perchance @murdockoclock: @fizzybank Btw did you like my use of perchance it was good right

@tanvisharma: Don't you look dashing!

@murdockoclock: @tanvisharma AWOOGA????? ME????? FROM YOU????

@ajsmovingcastle: You know what, you suit 'em!

@murdockoclock: @ajsmovingcastle :D :D :D :D :D :D :D THANKS

@felixwest: Haha! Glad you got home safely, pal! You had me worried there for a minute.

@murdockoclock: @felixwest Felix please teach me how to do magic please please pleasple pleasple plaesaplselpas lpeslpspl elpaslpsplslp slps plPLSLSLpsplsPLLPSLPSPSLSLSLPSPL

@leomurdock: Wait! I want a pair of #HeartEyes!

@murdockoclock: @leomurdock I HAVE SPARES LEO

@griffmcrory: I've never seen more entertaining stories than yours last night. I didn't know you and Izzy had that many choreographed dance routines.

@murdockoclock: @griffmcrory YES!!! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!!! MY ENTIRE LIFE GOAL HAS BEEN TO MAKE YOU SMILE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES SOMEHOW

@edenhasinstanow: Chris, you were SO funny last night! I don't actually think I've ever seen someone that gone before, but it was a great experience. You kept singing the Pina Colada song at me and then you were shocked when you found out I'd never had a pina colada before so you told me you'd get me one. But then you just handed me a pineapple and a glass of milk then said, "Go on. Mix it."

@murdockoclock: @edenhasinstanow HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA @murdockoclock: @edenhasinstanow Omg I'm so funny @murdockoclock: @edenhasinstanow BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY DID YOU HAVE FUN??? (and also more importantly was i good)

@acewoodrow: That caption fuckin spoke to me man, I need it on a mug

@murdockoclock: @acewoodrow I am using my big brain to send powerful messages to your big brain so we can merge as one Ace!!! It's gonna work TRUST ME

@danteleept: Very Elton, darling!

@murdockoclock: @danteleept COMPLIMENT OF THE YEAR????? DANTE LEE LET ME KISS YOU ON THE MOUTH

@poseimon: these are what my eyes look like when I'm looking at billy!!!!

@murdockoclock: @poseimon This is genuinely so cute it made me tear up omg????????