bwuh??

leering roommate who's been very clearly trying to set up a "you have to wear a cowkini around the apartment for a week" type pervert wager every time you get drunk together for at this point months but is simply and i mean really truly Absolutely Dogshit at playing poker

my high horse is actually awesome and fast like the wind

"do not frot with me while doing the mike ehrmantraut voice" - actual sentence i had to say last night

my genius uncle might have found another realm

can you please verify first before posting

OGH MY GOD. YES THANK YOU THATS HIM

I know it feels good as fuck to cast spells from up there

feels like im always recovering. when do i get to live

"it's okay to rest for as long as you need from burnout" how long is it actually going to take though. there's stuff i wanna do.

Your too late mr bond I alreasy peed out all my pee from my penis

it’s so hard for me to listen to heartbroken/angry breakup songs by straight men bc no matter how good the song is i’ll be like i’m not sure if i fully believe you. let’s hear her side of the story.

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

It just shifted to spanking your puppy’s ass, to make them take that thick knot. Like the good little play thing they are.

i don't really think it's like that at all

"it's so fucking over" yeah dude it's 11pm it's the end of the day it's time for you to go to bed. and tomorrow you'll be so fucking back because you'll be awake. go tuck yourself in dude you'll be ok