Ihavesthings

Shane stares at him, uncomprehendingly, for a second before slowly replying, "...I didn't."

Holmberg gives him a deeply skeptical look. "I've seen the way you react when people flirt with Roz in front of you," he says, "there's no way you guys have an open relationship."

"No," Shane clarifies immediately. He would rather set himself on fire than have to live with sharing his husband with another person. "No, we're exclusive," he confirms, "but I never asked him to stop sleeping with other people. He just kind of... stopped. I didn't even find out until a few months after it happened so, I don't know, maybe just wait it out?"

so they were both invited, which ends up being an amazing decision.

because, on their nights out, ilya wears a bunch of expensive jewelry that shane has bought for him and the sluttiest outfits, like a diamond necklace glistening over his sheer top, while shane sips on his ginger ale, stays sober, and acts as the designated driver. the wags have to do a chart for who gets to have shane drive them home.

"That bastard sold me a dummy ritual!" Exclaimed a lady in fishnets. She looked like a dollar tree wizard to be honest. The cliche of cliche.

Danny's Burger BurgKing (rip off DC version) masked head turned towards another woman that was standing there. "We are so sorry sir. We tried to summon someone to help is on a mission but seemed to have been fooled. Accept our deepest apologies."

Danny stared for a second before the face clicked into place in his mind. That was wonderwoman. Nice, he can brag to Sam about meeting her now. She would love that. In response he did the only logical thing he could think of.

Get the proof.

He turned his back to them, took out his phone and snapped a selfie with wonder woman in the background. She would have to believe him now. He turned back, admiring his picture. "Don't worry about it. Who were you trying to summon anyways?"

His casualness seemed to throw them off. "Do you really think now is the best time to take selfie?" The man wore a green glowy costume so he must be one of the green lanterns. Nice! He loved the GL's. They actually got to explore space as their job! He turned around again and snapped another picture, this would be his new background! The only thing that could make this better was Martian manhunt or a Thanagarian or something. He looked around, trying his luck.

Score, Hawkwoman standing there with her mace at the ready! How amazing is that. Seemed that his bad luck was taking a break! A second and a picture later he turned to gl. He did ask a question after all. He just needed a new lockscreen too. "Sorry, but these will be awesome to have as a phone background." He said, placing his phone back into his pocket. The only others he was recognizing were shade, black orchid, the phantom stranger, swamp thing and Pandora. Wasn't she a villain or something. He could've sworn he saw her on TV wrecking something. Ah who cares. There was also this ghost with a D on his chest (his D was better!), Batman (!?), Superman and the Flash. Odd collection but who was he to judge. "But seriously, what is this all about?"

The magician spoke again. She seemed a bit sulky. "Nothing you have to concern yourself with citizen. We have it in hand."

Danny raised an eyebrow from under his mask (he was getting paid to keep that damn thing on, he really needed this job okay). "I got dragged from work, I think I deserve to know."

"Thats classified information I'm afraid." Superman tried to placate.

Danny crossed his arms. "My time is sacred. You just caused me to have to do another shift to make up for the one I'm not doing right now and loose that sacred time." He could just feel the ridicule coming from some of them. Mostly GL. That was a point down on his list of favorites for him!

"Still none of your concern." The Bat spoke. Great, was he a chainsmoker trying to hide his habits or something. That voice could not be healthy for his vocal cords.

"None of my concern, none of my conslern. Why did you summon me and who were you trying to summon. Do you have any idea how dangerous summoning something can be?" So Danny was maybe whining. But these superheroes might be amazingly competent at fighting, he had never heard of them summoning something. Though he didn't really keep up to be fair. Still, summoning was dangerous!

The Bat narrowed his eyes but said nothing. The magician (he should really get her name) rolled her eyes. "I'm a specialist. I know what I'm doing."

Danny rolled his eyes right back at her. Moving his head a bit to make up for the lack of visuals for them. "Well clearly you don't." He said pointing down at his body in general.

Wonderwoman stepped forward and interrupted whatever the magician was about to say. "There has been a disbalance in the veil between the living and the dead. We tried to contact the king of the realm of the dead to help us out. We are sorry for our mistake."

Danny straightened his back. "Ohhhh, sorry my bad. Your summoning ritual worked. Apparently you do know what your doing." He waved sheepishly at the magician who raised an incredulous eyebrow at him.

"This is serious." She growled out. "We don't need you joking around."

Danny raised his shoulders to his ears. He was offended! "Hey, just because my mortal body needs to do something to earn money in a way that you might see as lesser doesn't mean that you can treat me like that!" His Burger BurgKing mask wobbled dangerously on his face in his indignation.

"Like the king of all that comes after life would reduce themselves to a minimum wage job that gets ridiculed all the time!" The magician screamed back.

"This is a respectable way to earn money!"

"Not for a king!"

"It so is!"

"Why w..." she was cut off by wonderwoman (Danny was seeing more and more why Sam liked her) who came between them.

"If you really are the entity we're looking for, can we get some proof?" She asked. She didn't really seem to believe him but also seemed to have experienced enough to immediately disregard him.

Danny raised an eyebrow. "You want me to get out my kingly form?" He asked incredulously. "But it is scary for mortals!"

"Please." And Danny couldn't really deny her that.

"Fine." He grumbled. He transformed, the light going from inside out over his entire body, not the rings for his normal Phantom transformation but more of a glowy wave traveling over his body. His torso grew as his head gained too many eyes, too many mouths with too many teeth, wearing a crown above the incomprehensible head. His arms growing out to too many tentacle like limbs with detached hands floating in nothing yet seeming attached. His legs dissappearing into a whispy nothing and still seeming to he there and having no end. Ring hanging around a not there yet all too present neck. "Great, can we talk now."

Danny's form is hypnotic. Being the king of the afterlife meant that he was the king off all that had once been and all that would never be again. As such, his form would simply enchant the living.

When looking upon his form they would see those that they had loved. Those that had left. They would see the opportunity that died as they never took it, the prey that escaped their clutches because they stepped on a twig, the children that they had lost before they could flourish into the perfect being that they were meant to be.

Those that believed in God, when seeing him would always immediately assume that this simply could be no other then their lord. Those that believed in multiple often thought him the head of the pantheon. Those that held the belief that there was nothing in the after would stare at him, completely enarmoured by the infinite possibilities that was them and everything. The death and birth of stars, the gentle laying to rest of an innocent soul, the love and caresses of their beloved late pet.

However if he was angry people would freeze. Seeing the end of times, people burning to death, entire planets dying heat deaths as their creatures clawed in the drying frying no-longer-mud as their lungs filled with ash and dirt and despair as they watched their imminent doom approach.

Safe to say, Danny almost never tried to go full ghost anymore, always keeping it human friendly and always toning it down, keeping himself small as to not break the minds of beings. He had accidentally melted the minds of so many intelligent creatures in the living realm that he just did not want to risk it anymore.

The problem was, in the peace talks he was holding currently were some very angry magic users. They claimed that he was taking them for a fool. That he was not the king and as per their agreement and had insulted he had insulted their nation by sending a mere recently deceased soul.

U.S. Rep. Lauren Boebert’s son Tyler Jay Boebert has been arrested and charged with raping a child, recording the act, and sharing the video. He faces 5 separate counts of abuse & has been released on only $10K bond.

Not an immigrant. Not a trans person. Not a drag queen. A MAGA fascist son of a MAGA fascist Congresswoman.

As if Joanne couldn't get any shittier, she misgendered and insulted a woman who called for support, all because the woman had PCOS/PMOS and "didn't sound feminine enough."

Fuck her.