Anything and Everything

i just woke up from a dream where i was being interrogated by a bunch of people asking me if “furbies are kosher” firstly…. im not jewish. secondly……..what the fuck

please stop sending me asks pertaining to the kosher status of furbies. i really do not know. this was just a manifestation of my subconscious. im assuming that they are not kosher because furbies aren’t even food. but who knows! ask a rabbi, if you must. 

Jew here! Furbies are actually worse than unkosher–they are not permissible as food, even for gentiles. This is because the Torah teaches that it is forbidden for any human to eat the meat of an animal that is still alive, and the Furby cannot die.

hi this is the most ominous description of a furby i have ever heard

Well what else are you supposed to do

Sometimes I hyperfocus so hard on something, I forget I’m a person until someone interacts with me. I feel like some wild animal seeing a human being for the first time. I’m like “oh yeah I’m supposed to speak and stuff”

every time i think, i take 10 damage

And every time we kiss I swear I could fly

there’s a name for girls who shoot guns, ride four wheelers and listen to country…

mygrandma

mygrandma

the penalty box in hockey is such a funny concept to me. big fighty men go in the naughty cube. imprisoned for sports crimes

Go to the terrarium and think about your punching, you knife-footed ice-gremlin

your mom is a true ally

so last night i dreamt that werner herzog produced this documentary called ‘one week as snail’, and legit it was just herzog following a single snail around this little town, commenting on everything it did and coming up with this detailed philosophy of a snail. he didn’t give it a name because he believed snails had no concept of such things. and then it was like: ‘here this snail eats a bit of cabbage, not knowing its source or the people who picked it. this snail does not understand the supply and demand chain. it does what it wants, oblivious to the suffering of others.’

Double pumkinned up on a Monday

Please think about your life choices Darcy.