Sir?

these relationships are always increasing numbers as well. so obviously we need six eleven to mean somethimg

imagine if that's the date it finally happens

> medical problem > unsure if it's serious or will go away on its own > sees a doctor to be sure > "why the fuck are you here. this is nothing. it will go away on its own"

> medical problem > unsure if it's serious or will go away on its own > decide to wait to not overreact > problem remains > sees doctor with concrete problem after all > "why did you wait so long. we could have done something if you had come immediately"

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

A++ addition

I LOVE THIS

Oh no, murder comedy is my jam

…perfect

I don’t like actual murder mysteries, but this is perfect

THE ORIGINAL POST HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY

The "Not You Again" at the start of the video is perfect amounts "I'm tired of your shit" and "Good to see you again." And I love it

I ended up having a really interesting conversation with some people at the bus stop today. They were getting out of some sort of ‘clean and sober’ meeting and had starting saying how they were so bored because they didn’t have anything to do, and had to stay at home because all their old friends would pull them back. So I said something like, ‘So this is the time to do all the stuff your parents told you they didn’t have money/time for!’ “Whatcha mean?” “You know, like when you were five and you REALLY wanted to have that toy or do that thing and you were like, ‘Please mom please I gotta have this I gotta go do this’ and they went ‘Hell no you think I’m paying for that do you want to goddamn EAT?’ “ And this light went on in their eyes. The lady is going to go check thrift stores for an Easybake Oven and I told her about Wilton cake decorating classes. The dude is going to Griffith Park and ride horses, because, ‘I always wanted to be a cowboy, and you can’t drink when you’re on a horse ‘cause you’ll fucking die!’ Fuck it. This is what being an adult is. Sure it’s bills and work and relationships, but damn it, it’s also time to do the things you LIKE. I signed up for a free class/lecture on Water Gardens. I’m going. It’s time.

Jill. Jill you are wonderful.

no joke, this is such an important aspect of overcoming trauma. I mean the trauma of abusive parents, the trauma of broke ass parents who got toxic because of it, the trauma of capitalism. Like fuck it. Go to Wrestlemania. Build a shit ton of terrariums.

the mythbusters once tested "herding cats" and at one point they brought in a proper trained herding dog and the poor dogs face when the first cat responds to his herding with swipes and aggression is to look at her human and go 😰 the sheep is broken?? what do i do boss??

Fozzy getting hit on by lots of twinks

Happy Pride Month

Ten years later, this bit still slaps. They made a great pun and realized they could be nice/inclusive with it too.

i love how OP is wailing over being set on fire but manages to remember to close the door behind him when he leaves the house.