there is literally no logical, emotional, aesthetic, philosophical, moral, or sexy reason for the sun to be gone at 4.30 pm 

Vampires can come out earlier

One sexy reason

Every time I see this, I am reminded that it is the single greatest joke in the history of the written or spoken word.

oh shit mr gaiman straight up murdered the person

This still makes me giggle 😂

Oh this thread…. This thread… So good…

Those am him leafs

#leaf him alone

oh no im late for zoom class (◯Δ◯∥) *trips and falls and mmy fat fucking tits break my laptop in half* kyaaaaa!!!! (*≧∀≦*)

Did Roy ever find his boyfriend?

happy for him

Cleansing your dash… now!

@bestnoncannonship

Their daughter, Tango (who likely would not have been born without her adoptive dads), fell in love with another female penguin at the Central Park Zoo, Tanuzi. As far as we know, Tango and Tanuzi have been together ever since.

there’s enough tail there to make a second kitty

“you are a lawyer and he is a hamster” is one of the funniest statements ive ever had the pleasure of reading

Photos that hit different in 2020.

I hate it

Seriously considering changing my name to bearbleps 🤔

My husband’s job primarily employs adult men but there is one (1) teenage girl and my husband said originally he worried she might be a bit of an outcast but instead every man on the crew was like “huh guess I am a dad/older brother now.”

She was in a car crash on the way to work one morning and called my husband to let him know she’d be late and he was like wtf guess I’m gonna be late too because I’m coming to pick you up and then he told his team and they were like I think you mean WE are coming.

Imagine you are a teenage girl probably rushing to get to work and you crash your probably new car and feel absolutely miserable and now you’ll be late to work but then suddenly in the distance a car full of all the adult men you work with just pulls up and is like “we came all the way here to pick you up” the mental image right now is fr.

This is possibly my favorite response to this post

I’m thinking about going missing

sometimes i get richard siken and richard scarry confused in my head which has made for a few interesting literary conversations