Do you ever just *really* need a life?

Might have to use a sword to open my treatsies again

You'd think I'd have scissors considering im a lesbian but alas they evade me

Wait what the fuck

What is hilarity?

shout out to the older woman in the snack aisle at walmart who just answered her phone and snapped “i’m in an important meeting, what do you want?”

One time on a beautiful sunny day I was sitting next to a man in an ice cafe and he got a call and answered with "so sorry, I can't come, I'm at a funeral right now :(" then turned to me and winked.

Ain't my circus but I would know my monkeys anywhere.

i got the job

Litany against unemployment.

The anti-car culture on this website is so fucking annoying. Like, sorry I want to be able to get around without having to spend two hours taking three buses. Sorry I want to be able to go grocery shopping in the winter without having to lug heavy bags home through the snow on a fucking bike