costis: sweats
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costis: sweats

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going through my google docs and i have some partially written fics that aren't bad actually
What's the alternative? We make gravity.
alas, poor yorick or whatever
Reasons Baby!Jason was never allowed to be an altar server: couldn’t be trusted with fire

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do not contact me i am thinking about this panel all day today
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Sixteen-year-old Bruce Wayne tries to fix up his dad’s old car. The car isn’t the problem Alfred has to solve, but it’s the easiest one to face.
cass and jason 🦇🐦
I get sick on an elevator. Project Hail Mary (2026) dir. Phil Lord, Chris Miller
ME! as a snyderverse wonderbat song though hmmm

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Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) Dir. Zack Snyder Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021) Dir. Zack Snyder
Well, I am Bruce Wayne.
very important that the line about the book is him trying to build a bomb
random jason moments we should appreciate
Bruce is very proud when his kids finally beat him at sparring
Dick-15
Batman: [obviously limping around the watchtower]
Superman: [pulls him aside] “Batman, what happened?”
Batman: [trying not to sound excited] “Robin finally bested me during our sparring”
Superman: “oh th-“
Batman: “he cracked three of my ribs and dislocated my hip”
Superman: “b-“
Batman: “then he got me in a headlock and held me until I passed out”
Superman: “Bruce… What the fuck”
Jason-14
Bruce laying on the couch with a concussion
Clark: “is everything alright? You missed the meeting and didn’t answer any of our calls”
Bruce: “hm, sparring”
Clark: “with Dick?”
Bruce: [mumbling] “no… Ja… Jason. Used a uh, ah, um…”
Clark: “a? Weapon? A brick? There’s no way you lost to him, it took Dick years to finally win”
Bruce: “… I don’t remember… but it worked”
Alfred: “master Jason used a first copy of the Oxford dictionary. After the spar was supposedly over he used the ‘element off surprise’
Bruce: “dats ma boy”
Alfred: [shaking him] “stay awake”
Tim- 14
Bruce having lunch with Clark, sporting a black eye
Clark: “those sun glasses aren’t helping you”
Bruce: [sipping his wine] “didn’t think so”
Clark: “did you have a rough night?”
Bruce: “no, turns out Tim is a natural with the staff. We’ve been working at it for months, he’s very talented “
Clark: “what is wrong with you?”
Bruce: “if they can’t kick my ass then I’m not training them right, Clark”
Cassandra-20
Bruce: [is groaning and wincing when he moves]
Clark: [chilling at Bruce’s] “I didn’t know you could acknowledge pain”
Bruce: “she threw me like a rag doll, Clark”
Clark: “wait who?”
Bruce: “Cassandra. She wanted to spar, I never landed a hit on her. The fight was 6 maybe 7 seconds tops “
Clark: “she sounds dangerous”
Bruce: [is amazed]“I have so much to learn from her”
Damian- 11
Superman: [enters the bat cave] “Bruce?”
Bruce: [in the medbay giving himself stitches] “here”
Superman: “ouch, what happened to you?”
Bruce: “sparring with Damian”
Superman: “sparring?”
Bruce: [looks up, smiles] “he did this with his nails. But that’s just the surface”
Superman: [x-rays] “Is your leg broken?”
Bruce: “hm, probably. Certainly feels like it”
Superman: [slow blinks] “yea, it’s broken, B”
Duke- 17
Clark: [flying in] “I heard screaming, is everyone alright?”
Bruce: [crumpled on the ground] “fuck”
Duke: “oh my god, oh my god, I’m so sorry”
Clark: “did you use your powers on him?”
Duke: [panicing] “no! We were sparring and I got scared when I thought he was going to do that grabby twisty thing before he slams people?? and kicked him in the balls”
Clark: “uh”
Duke: [tries to help Bruce up]
Bruce: [swats him away, voice hoarse] “you win, you win. I tap out”
Clark: “I thought you wrore cups?”
Bruce: “I am… Duke”
Duke: [biting his nails] “yea?”
Bruce: “hmm… good… good kick”
Stephanie-22
Bruce: [gets into position] “ready?”
Stephanie: [gets into position] “ready”
Bruce: [lunges]
Stephanie: [deploys taser]
Bruce: [somewhat goes down, but not fully because he’s Batman] “ow”
Stephanie: “you said ow! I win!”
Bruce: “that’s not a win”
Stephanie: “did you know I had a taser?”
Bruce: “no”
Stephanie: [jazz hands] “the element of surprise!”
Bruce: “no” [gets back into position]
Stephanie: “fine” [drops him]
Clark: [watching the whole time]“she definitely won”
Bruce: [gasps] “yep” [gives Stephanie a high-five from the ground]
Batkids as dumb criticisms people make of Batman:
“Batman should give money to poor people instead of beating people up.” - Stephanie
“Batman should just kill the Joker.” - Jason
“Batman should stop adopting so many children.” - Damian
“Batman’s secret identity sucks.” - Tim
“Batman needs to go to therapy.” - Barbara
“Batman is an asshole.” - Dick
(this post is a collab with @iamfitzwilliamdarcy)

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Brave Adventurer I must now send you on your most difficult quest yet, I task thee- Go To Bed.
Dick, Roy, and Wally superhero sitcom in which they are Sad Millennials with Shenanigans because they are Highkey Stupid
it’s sort of like New Girl but Donna is the only one with any sort of sense
Jason visits him one day and Dick promptly loses him at the zoo
like not ditches him
like. loses him. can’t find him. doesn’t know where he is.
spends the episode in a blind panic and is so PISSED when he gets back to the apartment to find out that Jason just shrugged and headed back home
“what the HELL is WRONG with you!!!!!”
“I thought you went to work!! that’s why you gave me a key!!!”
“What? I didn’t give you a key”
“Roy found his third extra set and told me to hang onto the second extra set for safekeeping. I thought it was your idea”
Dick, now aware that he looks like an asshole: “Uhhhhhhhhhh yeah. I wanted it to be a surprise. so. uh. Surprise! but um, welcome! yeah.”
Donna, ambushing him in the kitchen pantry later, brandishing a box of saltines threateningly He KNOWS you didn’t mean to let him have a key, you fucking suck right now
Dick: I know that alright!!!!! I suck, I fucking suck, I’m scum. But I’m just getting used to the idea of having a little brother!! He’s like 2 months old!!!
Dick and Donna being obnoxious and wearing matching clothes and constantly being annoying and singing duets together
also running joke in the household is that the most mellow of them, Wally, has a terrible temper just because his hair is red
“Roy you’re a ginger too why are you being a prejudiced prick”
“EXCUSE YOU Wally my hair is auburn”
and to finish it off Garth is like never at the apartment because he’s always looking for a job
half of every episode has to do with Garth working at a new job and then dealing with out-of-place, absolutely ridiculous incidents that should not ever happen but somehow always happen to Garth
Garth, exhausted™ but needing money: hi welcome to Fry and Firkin
customer: have you ever chewed off a man’s thumb and laughed when he screamed?
Garth: sir we have a strict non-cannibalistic policy