I'm a little envious of people in rareship fandoms or fandoms with less attention/material. It doesn't matter if they get few likes or have little to work with, they seem so happy and dedicated when it's time to return to the fandom (e.g., Romabby fans, Hyuluka fans, Nier Automata fans, etc.). I feel depressed whenever I notice that the fandom I'm in has almost no activity, and the worst part is that I have terrible FOMO (to the point of neglecting my studies to be inactive). I think I need to see a psychiatrist and get back to paying attention to my studies; I need real things to do. But i don't wanna abandon the fandom either π₯
Anon, honey, love (/gen), the fandom's always gonna be here. Leaving for a while, or stepping back, isn't "abandoning" anything, and you won't miss out on anything... you'll just have more fun stuff to catch up on when you get back. :)
It's something I've done a couple times in the kpdh fandom, actually. When I got a bunch of hate anons and this blog started to feel more like an obligation than something I do for fun, I closed myself out of my tumblr account and just forced myself to do other things in real life until I felt better. Like... hanging out with my siblings, focusing on my job, looking for new books to read... of course, that's all me-specific stuff. But doing "real-life" stuff, especially stuff you can physically engage in, is really great for a reset, yeah.
The point is, I've dipped for chunks of time before and then come back, and everything was still there waiting for me. There's a bit of trust involved--I might miss things that would've made me happy, but even if I do, there'll be more there waiting for me. Happiness, in life, is as inevitable as sadness. So I don't worry about it--I'll stumble across it sooner or later.
More broadly, anon... the people who are happy even when there's low activity and low engagement are A) the people who stake their happiness more on the creation process than how people respond to it, and B) the people who have multiple sources of fulfillment in their lives, not just fandom.
I mean, we all love engagement, but relying on engagement and activity for your happiness is not a good route towards emotional stability. I'm not trying to say this in a condescending way, I'm saying it in a been there, done that way--it fucking sucks to get pulled into that hole of endlessly refreshing a page hoping for something to happen that'll give you that jolt of happiness, of being seen. Because ultimately, you're relying on something external for your internal stability, and that's a bit of a recipe for disaster.
...I can't give you much advice on what to do without knowing more about you personally. Seeing a psychiatrist might help, if you think it would. Having "real things to do" would probably also help, like you say. Things you can do with your hands, like crafting or baking or exercise, helps a lot.
Either way, good luck with it all, anon! I hope you're able to find a way of making it all work soon π«‘π«‘π«‘
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