🦋🪐🌌☄️🌠🌻

*introducing myself to the guards who caught me* seized to meet you

post like nobody's watching, reblog like you've never been blocked; dm like no one is offline, and rpf like they actually fucked

did a bit of driving through the state of georgia today and wound up driving through a small town that i later discovered was called newborn, which is an odd name but doesn’t technically have anything wrong with it, except for the fact that i nearly gave myself whiplash doing a double-take at a building sign advertising NEWBORN TAXIDERMY

In my early-twenties I was addicted to photoshopping my nudes into Hieronymus Bosch paintings, though there came a point when the cohesiveness of the end products began to offend me

also like I just genuinely don't get it bc dark brown eyes are some of the most beautiful eyes out there. my sister has eyes that are so dark you can't make out her pupils without looking really closely. and I'm so jealous

mutuals send me a 🌠 and i’ll tell you three things i associate you with

if you have to rely on specific scripts or turns of phrase to socialise that's totally fine, but you must NOT reveal them to your friends while slightly drunk. it's like showing how the magic trick works, you can't do it in front of them afterwards

i like dogs a lot but i can never remember the differences between breeds (apart from the few types i've actually owned/interacted with). but i know people looove their dogs and love talking about their dogs, so whenever im talking to a dog owner i'll ask what breed it is, and no matter what breed they say i'll say "oh! i've heard they have a really nice nature :D" and they always go YESSS THEY'RE GREAT and start gushing about their dog and we have a nice conversation and i build social credit with this person. anyway i told my friends about this script a few weeks ago when slightly drunk and now every time we're in public together and a dog goes past they turn to me and ask "does that one have a nice nature?" im in a hell of my own making

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“if you love this character then you must make her happy in your fics, right?” wrong. the horror. suffering. internal hemorrhage. hospital. immediately

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"