Sick Fires in The Shire

I keep fishing my phone out of my pocket at work just to get a hit of this image

I’m such a “yay <3” person like unironically a hip hip hooray type of personality

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

It just shifted to spanking your puppy’s ass, to make them take that thick knot. Like the good little play thing they are.

i don't really think it's like that at all

(To the tune of Rasputin): BLEH BLEH DRACULA, KING OF TRANSYLVANIA, HE IS A BAT AND ALSO A MAN

the first law of tragedies: the end is already written and inevitable. the second law of tragedies: your actions are all your own and you can choose to get off this ride whenever you want. the third law of tragedies: we both know that you are never going to do that.

me and the mutuals are giving some minor characters rich inner worlds later if you wanna pull up. yeah its gonna be all day.

This is the best, most on-brand way for roller skates to be introduced to the world.

“One of his ingenious novelties was a pair of skaites contrived to run on wheels. Supplied with these and a violin, he mixed in the motley group of one of Mrs Cowley’s masquerades at Carlisle House; when not having provided the means of retarding his velocity, or commanding its direction, he impelled himself against a mirror of more than five hundred pounds value, dashed it to atoms, broke his instrument to pieces and wounded himself most severely”

the internet tells me that five hundred pounds in 1760 is the equivalent of over a hundred thousand dollars today, nice work.

HAPPY 7Oth BIRTHDAY TO THE LITTLE FELLA