Ya Know? I Meant Fixated, But This Is Funnier

us and ours

The rock, actually a crystalized chunk of qi, explodes during the meeting. This lets out a shockwave of energy that breaks a number of small artifacts in the room and riles up everyone's swords.

But it sends Shen Qingqiu into a frenzy. He digs through his robes before pulling out a strange glowing blue crystal - not dissimilar to the one that just exploded- while muttering to himself that he "felt it crack"

There does appear to be a presumably new hairline fracture in the crystal.

Yue Qingyuan is the first to formulate a question.

"Is that-?"

"What," Shen Qingqiu snaps back. "Did you think I just left him somewhere? I don't abandon my family Qi-ge."

He starts pouring more qi into the blue crystal and ignores Yue Qingyuan's attempts to help. Neither of them are paying any attention to the other Peak Lords.

There's a bright flash of light and when it clears there's a little boy- scrawny and underfed with dirty scraggly hair- standing there. He's a tiny little thing, age unknown but he stares at them in clear shock and confusion. His big dark eyes are clearly afraid.

Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu are both on their knees, regarding the little boy with shock.

"Gege." Shen Qingqiu says, voice breaking.

The boy and the man stare at each other for a long time.

"Oh," the little boy says at last. " When did Didi get so big??"

He hugs Shen Qingqiu, who lets out what sounds like a watery sob and then the Sect Leader ushers everyone else out of the room.

He gives them only the most basic information: Twenty years ago when they were only nine there was an accident and Shen Yuan, the older Shen Twin was trapped inside the crystal they just saw. Please provide their fellow Peak Lord privacy at this time. (He's getting an hour tops, and no time at all from Qi-ge.)

(The old man everyone said was a cultivator had died, and the three of them had snuck in to his house to find things to sell- or just loose money.

They both have a system (SY is tasked with saving SJ, & SJ is tasked with character development, or something like that).

They both decide to troll the peaks by seeing how long it takes for anyone to notice there are two of them. Eventually it's found out and they further mess with everyone by claiming it's literally always been this way. (When asked, Yue Qingyuan confirms this with a straight face and then goes to the peak to get the true story.)

But, now that everyone knows they are twins, people begin to notice the differences and decide they like Shen Yuan better. He's so nice and Shen Jiu is such an asshole.

Except, someone makes the mistake of insulting Shen Jiu to Shen Yuan's face - and SY, born a hater died a hater, instantly unleashes the most caustic pissy vitriol, naming every character flaw and buried skeleton in their closet, and just absolutely destroys their reputation and self esteem in a rant that leaves everyone's ears ringing.

They don't find out until they finally see them in the same room and they're like "Why didn't you tell us!?"

"You didn't ask."

Shen Yuan ends up as a hallmaster, but they frequently swap places anyway

99% of the time Yue Qingyuan can tell them apart when no one else can

1% of the time Shen Yuan is channeling his ruthless internet days of his past life

Shen Yuan insists he's the older brother, meanwhile Shen Jiu insists he's older

Yue Qingyuan in turn insists that he found them in the same basket at the same time so neither of them are older? (He gets shot a look)

Especially because Shen Yuan is usually at least outwardly polite to people around them while Shen Jiu is actively antagonistic. So to see Shen Yuan tripping Shang Qinghua so he face plants and seeking him out to pick fights and threaten him is like catnip to Shen Jiu. He has to get in on this

Shen Jiu forgets to fight with Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge because he and Shen Yuan are too busy batting Shang Qinghua back and forth

Liu Qingge tries to stand up for Shang Qinghua once but Mu Qingfang is like "no wait. It's enrichment for him" and sure enough Shang Qinghua is seen grinning when the Shens can't see and also actively baiting the Shens

If they leave him alone for too long he does something that gets them showing up at An Ding to chase him around the peak

May I present the best apple:

It’s even FUNNIER when one of them is a politician and the other is the fucking ACCIDENTAL KING OF A PLANET

Leia, already expecting yet another sleazy politician: *fake smile* it is an honor to meet you, Mand’alor

Din, glancing up from doodling grogu’s face on a bunch of paperwork: uh. It’s an honor to meet you as well, Miss . . . senator

Leia:

Din: *glances at Bo-katan* was that wrong? Am I supposed to bow or something

Leia, mentally rewriting all of her strategies: no you’re fine. Also, I now understand why your guards are so protective of you. We must not ever let you be corrupted by the horrors of the senate

Din: . . . Aren’t you part of the senate?

stickers for your team mate who has let you down one last time

"Oh he's about to do something DEEPLY fucked up, isn't he?"

In very much the vein of "honey, I need you to go inside. Papa has to Talk to these men real quick. Close the doors and cover your ears. Don't look."

Like? This has gone on Long Enough. The squabbles and fighting of children are not the concern of Ancients. But! When you cross that invisible line in the sand? When you test their patience? Seemingly endless? And FINALLY find the very last straw?

It's like feeling the earth moving beneath you.

Realizing that which you stood upon was no mountain.

It was a sleeping God.