are.kyve

So while I always deeply enjoy any and all identity reveal fics (+/- System reveal to go with that plot), I don't think I ever considered "but Binghe thinks he's with his abuser!!!" as something actually Completely Irrevocably Canon that is a huge elephant in the Bingqiu post-canon room. The way there's much more hints than that scene in the Bamboo House that Binghe knows what's up if you look closer is just extra icing on top.

Does Shen Qingqiu need to come clean, still? Absolutely, because no matter how much Binghe has figured out, how on the nose he is, he can't know for sure unless confirmed by an independent source in some way. (Shen Qingqiu himself, willingly or unwillingly. Via the System, if that's the route we're taking.)

In the end I'm just... kind of relieved that there's plenty of proof, even without the new extras making it explicitly canon, that Binghe, who's Really Fucking Smart, has figured it out.

Because you know what? It's far more upsetting, and not in a fun way, to imagine that Binghe really did think it was "the same" Shen Qingqiu the whole way through, at least canon-wise. For fic, I can take it or leave it, since the point of the fic with an identity reveal is to provide the catharsis of assuring Binghe this is someone else, who didn't abuse him; it makes it enjoyable enough.

Because if Bing-ge can almost immediately question if the Shen Qingqiu in front of him is Shen Qingqiu (though he then puts that aside), how and why wouldn't Bing-mei figure it out, who's spent a lot more time with his shizun?

And it's so short and underwhelming, this moment, but I can't help but think it is quite tragic. Because either he can't bear thinking about how he comes across to other people (thus seeing a mirror of what his personality is like), or... He is such a social chameleon, is so much whatever it takes to survive (aka receive Shizun's attention and love, beat up anyone who disagrees) that he genuinely can't tell who he is.

He's an obedient disciple. He's an unfillial beast. He's a black-hearted lotus. He's a white-hearted lotus. He's a doting housewife husband. He's a ruthless demon. He's cunning and scheming. He's cute and emotional. He's powerful. He hates pain. He loves pain. He doesn't care about his parents. He needs love to breathe. He's a liar and manipulator. He doesn't sugar coat his thoughts. He's so powerful. He's so vulnerable.

He himself can't tell anymore what is most him in all of these mingled trauma responses, survival habits, needs, wants, beliefs. He just might be all of that at once.

But that's too confusing for him to describe. He'd rather not think about it and just model himself after what gets him Shen Qingqiu's love.

IN THE DAY TIME SQQ IS SJ, RIGHT? AT NIGHT SQQ IS SY!!

Okay so here's how it works, when SY was getting put in SQQ's body SJ's strong ass spirit noticed the intruder and was like !!! and started trying to force SY out. Now, the system wasn't expecting this and couldn't react accordingly, allowing SY's soul (As well as SJ's soul, SY's soul did fight back) to get damaged quite a bit before it reacted properly. Now the system cant just put SY in with half a soul, and it can't take SJ's soul out because of how fragile it currently is. So what does the system do? Graft the souls together, YAAAY.

So, the souls mesh well and now that SJ's soul isn't instinctively trying to devour the offending soul and vice-versa, the two souls can coexist in the body together. (Insert cute image of SY's soul nestled up with SJ's prickly soul)

ANYWAYS so the two are aware of eachother, and while they can't communicate directly each soul can communicate their feelings... Because of the grafting process they have this natural sense of companionship/comradery, which is one of the reasons SJ handles it so well. He doesn't view SY's soul as a parasite and treats it more like an extension. UMMM the soul grafting process also meant that some experiences were shared between souls and scars left on both of them are now like a mutual bonding point.

ANYWAYS so like the reason why the soul that has control switches at night is because both souls need to rest since they've both been damaged, and while one soul pilots the body the other is semi-dormant, only conscious enough to push feelings forward.

LIKE LISTEN LISTEN, Imagine the scene of YQY coming over for a visit--later than usual, he'd been busy all day--and coming face to face with this version of Shen Qingqiu. And it confuses him. It's Shen Qingqiu, but it's not fully him. SQQ doesn't chase him away immediately, instead he just stares at YQY as if looking at a stranger, inspecting him like it's the first time SQQ'd ever seen the other.

YQY is horrified at the unfamiliar look in SQQ's eyes, but then--like a transformation--YQY watches as a familiar fury surfaces in those eyes, pushing past the scrutinizing look to put the feelings on full display. It's then that a sneer pulls its way onto SQQ's face and the man opens his mouth to chase YQY away again.

SJ's hostility towards YQY so strong that his soul emerged briefly to make its displeasure known lol. SY is neutral towards YQ, if not carrying only a slight lingering dislike that SQQ rubbed off on him.

LQG flying over to get justice for one of his disciples in like the dead of night and seeing a SQQ that seems almost excited to see him. SY thinks LQG is cool, SJ not so much. LQG somehow bonding w/ SY and noting the switch.