Disgraceful

So how about a crack cumplane fic where Shang Qinghua transmigrates into Luo Binghe and Shen Yuan into Mobei-Jun

SY!MBJ falls for SQH!LBH, and it's all Airplane's fault!! He's the one who made the protagonist into a peerless beauty, second to none!

Meanwhile SQH!LBH falls for SY!MBJ, but he can't help it!! That's his ideal man right there, even if he's now his fave anti fan! He just wants to fall into his tatas!!

Lan Shizui: Senior Wei, I'm heading on a night hunt with Wen Ning

Wei Wuxian: Ok bud, let me know when you're back!

Lan Shizui: I will!

Xie Lian: Who was that

Wei Wuxian: Oh, that's my son

Wei Wuxian, joking: I birthed him myself!

Shen Qingqiu: Really? I wasn't aware that mpreg existed in your world

Wei Wuxian: Em-what?

Yue Qingyuan: I don't remember you having a brother?

Shen Jiu: Well you also forgot to come back to me, so clearly your memory can't be trusted!

Yue Qingyuan, crying internally: Of course, sorry Xiao Jiu

Luo Bingge: Yes I have? I've fucked my general plenty of times

Shen Qingqiu: WHAT?!

Shen Qingqiu, to Shang Qinghua: WHAT?!?!

Shang Qinghua: Oh yeah, I wrote an extra where Bing-ge and my king got down and dirty. I didn't post it obviously, my homophobic fans would riot

Shen Qingqiu: Are you telling me that there is a piece of PIDW THAT I DIDN'T READ?!

Luo Bingge: The only way to take over Huan Hua Palace is to ruin the current head disciple

Gongyi Xiao: Binghe! Sorry, I meant Luo-shidi. Are you fitting in well? Has anyone been bullying you? Please let me know if you need anything and I'll get it for you

Luo Bingge: ...

After Airplane makes a comment on a forum that he's Mobei-Jun's husband, the System makes it true, but in a roundabout way

When Mobei-Jun is born he is told that he is destined to marry the god of their world by demon elders. This makes him a target, but the system grants him a lesser protag halo to survive childhood due to his status as god's spouse

Shang Qinghua finds out about this prophecy years into his servitude with Mobei-Jun, however he is unable to tell him he's god because, according to the System, 'parameters have not been met'

PIDW Fan: is MBJ married? who's his spouse?

Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky: me lol

After Dying

Mobei-Jun, meeting Shang Qinghua for the first time: I know who you are

Shang Qinghua: What?! How?!

Mobei-Jun, smiling: You're my husband

Shang Qinghua: WHAT?! SYSTEM!

Shen Qingqiu: Oh no, I'm under the effect of an obedience pollen and Luo Binghe is back from the Abyss!

Luo Binghe: Shizun is affected by an obedience pollen?

Shen Qingqiu: Fuck, I shouldn't have said that out loud

Luo Binghe: If that's the case then...

Shen Qingqiu, internally: Fuck fuck fuck

Luo Binghe: Call me a good boy

Shen Qingqiu: So what? Are you going to impregnate me?

Luo Binghe: Of course not! I would never make Shizun go through that!

Shen Qingqiu: Then I will impregnate you?

Luo Binghe: That's not doable either. People try to kill me all the time and I don't want to harm the baby

Shen Qingqiu: So what will you do?

Luo Binghe: I figured out a solution and I decided that I will impregnate Liu Qingge

Liu Qingge: Wait! Is that why you invited me to this conversation?!

Shen Qingqiu, eager: Yes, impregnate him

Liu Qingge: Do I have a say in this?!

Luo Binghe: The baby will be your heir too, so Shizun needs to help

Shen Qingqiu: Of course

Shen Qingqiu: Well I died from suffocation, then from self detonation. I think the suffocation was probably worse physically, but dying in front of Binghe was worse emotionally

Shang Qinghua: I was electrocuted to death. Not sure if it's worse than suffocation, but it's up there

Wei Wuxian: I was torn apart due to spiritual backlash, but I don't remember much of it so I'm not sure I can definitely say it was worse

Shen Qingqiu: What about you?

Xie Lian: Yes

Shang Qinghua: What? What do you mean by yes??

Xie Lian: Oh, sorry, I meant that I have gone through all those things before

Wei Wuxian: Are you... ok?

Tianlang-Jun: Probably, but I don't think it matters because in the demon world they are called 'heart humans'

Shen Qingqiu: Fascinating

Luo Binghe: What about if you're a half-demon?

Shang Qinghua: I don't think it matters because we should just call what you have by its actual name: PTSD

Luo Binghe: Curious, and how do I cure this pee-tee-es-dee?

Shen Qingqiu: No technical cure, but it helps talking to someone you trust about your feelings

Luo Binghe: !!!

Shang Qinghua: Besides your husband! And preferably a trained professional!

Mobei-Jun, holding up Shang Qinghua: Behold, a man!

Shen Qingqiu: Excuse me Lord Mobei, but men are vertebrates, so they need a spine

Bingqiu

Luo Binghe: I love you

Shen Qingqiu: I love you too! Platonically of course, neither of us are gay

Luo Binghe: No, I'm gay and I love you!

Shen Qingqiu: Same! I am so happy and I love you too. Platonically

Luo Binghe: I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!!

Shen Qingqiu: ...

Shen Qingqiu: Platonically?

Luo Binghe: AUGH!!

Moshang

Mobei-Jun, starting intensely at Shang Qinghua: ...

Shang Qinghua, getting nervous: Um, my king?

Mobei-Jun, continue staring: ...

Shang Qinghua: Did I do something wrong?

Mobei-Jun, doesn't stop staring: ...

Shang Qinghua: Forgive me my king!! Please have mercy!!

Mobei-Jun, internally: There, I projected my feelings onto him and he must now know I love him. We shall wed soon