This is how flo(we)rs grow.

i deserve to be an eel. in a crevice with a bunch of other eels. opening and closing our mouths over and over

everyone who reblogged this has joined me in the eel crevice. its a pretty big crevice

oooo we eelin

i can’t stop thinking about the time my roommate and i asked our insanely ripped neighbor brian who wore flip flops year round and sunglasses on the back of his head for help with carrying a solid wood dresser up to our apartment. he wanted to get his son who was home from college to come help too so he takes out his phone and goes, “siri, call christian christianson” and turns speaker phone on while we stand there sort of stunned by the name and after a few rings cc answers, “what the hell do you want” and brian just hangs up without responding and is all, “kids, am i right” then carries the dresser up four flights of stairs pretty much by himself. we offered him a six pack of rainier as thanks which he immediately opened in our kitchen and downed 2/6 beers in 10 mins while telling us about his 1989 dodge ram 1500 he was trying to get his son to restore with him to no avail. really nice guy. we never saw his son before he went back to school but any time i ask my roommate for help with lifting stuff or reaching something he says, “siri, call christian christianson” and we reminisce about brian and his truck.

Everyone reblog this. Mandatory.

This post goes around Tumblr every year, and it’s always true. There’s never been an uneventful or boring January.

The gather to meet the youngling

Have y'all ever seen that video of elephants in a sanctuary absolutely booking it across the enclosure to meet the New Baby, because

I love how they're clearly walking in formation until one of them sees the baby dragon and then they immediately all run over.

reblog to slap op with some paper in the wind

Everyone is so weird about people who cry easily. Fellas, is it evil and manipulative to *checks notes* have an involuntary stress response?

This is all one take?? And they have MULTIPLE people as Robin Hood so that they can "cut" between them by spinning the camera??? Wow. That's so complicated but super clever

so what you're gonna do is you're gonna trim the top off a bulb of garlic, using the knife's edge to take off the tip of every individual clove, that's important. you're gonna place the garlic face-up in a square of tinfoil, drizzle with olive oil, wrap completely in foil, place in baking tray, repeat with a copious amount of garlic bulbs. you're gonna put that baking tray in an oven set to 375-400°F, for 30-50 minutes, until soft and browned. you're gonna toast some good bread, slather generously with butter and honey, maybe a tiny lil bit o' salt. and then. you're gonna SQUEEZE. OUT. THAT. ROASTED GARLIC. onto the butter honey toast. and you're gonna eat it. food stolen directly from the plate of the gods. that's what you're gonna do.

you have to be able to defend people who are receiving unjust treatment even if they annoy you even if you personally find them extremely annoying you still have to be able to stand up and say "well thats fucked up"

the moral willpower required for "i hate their guts but my personal ethical standard is no xyz and i cannot set the precedent of making an exception for them" is imennse but important work