it's grim

Happy Pride

the frenetic whimpering of a friday man pacing the cage of thursday

I am so sick and tired of having to charge stuff every day of my miserable life!! My phone, my watch, my headphones, my vibrator, my backup vibrator, my emergency vibrator, the ancient cursed amulet of darkness that whispers to me....it's too much!!!

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

finding a new doctor. applying for jobs. searching for apartments. messaging used car dealers. getting your health insurance to do their job. getting a pharmacy to do their job. getting the dmv to accept the documents they told you to bring. just listing things they probably make you do in hell

why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable

It’ll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.

Reblog this triple-dead post for something good to happen to you this week.

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

happy first day of pride everyone