Imagine

Certified Anti-Microsoft post

(voice of someone about to turn 30) it’s nice making friends. It’s nice to play together and have fun. It’s nice to hang out

whenever I go to the restroom and can’t piss immediately I get so mad because all I can think about is that weird sexist John Updike passage where he’s like “the pee got lost inside her mysterious Woman Body”

i hate that passage because one time i went to pelvic floor physical therapy and she said that taking a moment for pee to come out can be a sign of an overly tight pelvic floor which isn't something ppl without vaginas have issues with as often. meaning technically the passage was kind of FUCKING right in a way which makes it feel so much worse. fuck my cringe fail pelvic floor

the saying about rose tinted glasses has a real truth to it. have you ever worn actual rose tinted glasses in real life. like those candy heart shapes ones. it fucking rules. you look cool AND everything looks a little bit like it has an instragram filter on it. cannot reccomend my rose tinted glasses enough #myrosetintedglasses

wait, isnt NSFW the letters on the compass

So close.

north south FUCK west

i am glad that lol has survived through trends and turmoil

Ill block a bitch on iamsober ill block a bitch on myfitnesspal ill block a bitch on neko atsume 2

Ill help mom block a bitch on chess.com

we did it! we saved the fucking whales!!!!

Sure, boss, I’d still be ya henchman if you was a woim