An invented fire burns in us.

rummaging for an earl grey teabag like its a cigarette

image description: tweet by olayemi olurin @/msolurin, reading: There's no high like making a successful hail mary argument. A prosecutor once asked for bail on my client because he had like 63 convictions and I was like judge... 63 convictions sounds like a man who showed up to court at least 63 times. And the judge was like yea you right /end description

Hand job vs manual labor

Just came home from a dinner party with the friendgroup at which several people kept saying "Ask Pedro" or "Pedro will know" and I was terrified that they were referring to an AI like Claude but no, thank fuck, they were referring to a cardboard cutout of Pedro Pascal that someone left upstairs and who has been designated a kind of patron saint status in the household.

The apple they fed to snow white wasnt poision at all it was just a red delicious

to all the cowards who whine “how will i explain it to my kids??” i say: how about you shut up and let your kids explain it to you.

“Ma’am, you don’t have to be a lawyer to defend someone else” wow she snapped

dammnn she really popped off with that last line though

IN THIS HOUSE WE STAN THIS KID

as someone who studies linguistics, i will never not laugh when someone says “that word doesn’t exist” like, my good bitch. if a word is regularly used by a certain amount of people then it exists. if it has its own grammatical rules then its perfectly valid. it’s part of their lexicon now, sweetie. “It’s a made up word” honey, all words are made up. Linguists didn’t just fucking excavate athens and were like BEHOLD!!! VOCABULARY!! “that word isn’t in the dictionary” dictionaries are not rule books, they’re record books. “Refrigerate” didn’t exist 200 years ago and yet here we are. a language that doesn’t adapt to an ever changing society is bound to be lost because, eventually, it won’t be able to keep up with social progress. you motherfuckers.

"bosch" doesn't sound like the name of a guy who'd make paintings like that. but when you add "hieronymus" to the mix it starts to make sense

I always say that the thing which sets Sargent apart as a portrait artist is that he draws/paints literally every subject - no matter their gender, social position, life vs representational drawing etc - like he is right that minute realising he's desperately in love with them. And it rules every single time.

ooooh the radfems are BIG mad about this one

My brain is a machine for turning things I need to do into things I forgot to do.

the commodification of friendship is the most annoying thing to come out of the internet in ages. like actually i love to break this to you but you're supposed to help your friends move even if it's hard work. or stay up with them when they're sad even if you're gonna lose sleep. you're supposed to listen to their fears and sorrows even if it means your own mind takes on a little bit of that weight. that's how you know that you care. they will drive you to the airport and then you will make them soup when they're sick. you're supposed to make small sacrifices for them and they are supposed to do that for you. and there's actually gonna be rough patches for both of you where the balance will be uneven and you will still be friends and it will not be unhealthy and they will not be abusive. life is not meant to be an endless prioritization of our own comfort if it was we would literally never get anywhere ever. jesus.